


Jailbreak

by Milk_and_Egg



Series: Gorillaz Fanfic requests [2]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Cuddling, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, I don't condone abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mentions of Disabilities, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Phase Five (Gorillaz), Prison, Road trip to escape the police!, Slow Burn, eventual forgiveness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-06-20 23:56:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15545091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milk_and_Egg/pseuds/Milk_and_Egg
Summary: Murdoc breaks out of prison with the help of his fans. 2D goes on a trip to get over his conflicting feelings pertaining to Murdoc. The two of them find each other and attempt to rebuild their broken relationship.*** Here's the deal: It's an AU where Murdoc breaks out of prison and Noodle took care of El Mierda.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This story was originally a request from my Tumblr from an anonymous user, but I really liked it and decided to make a multiple chapter fic of it, sorry if that was not what you wanted.
> 
> The request was: 
> 
> Hiii, hey what about some 2doc but it begins angsty cuz of murdoc and 2d remember all the abuse but actually murdoc changing to be better and he whole situation become sweet with a lot of cuddles and (maybe) sex for the reconciliation and the new beginning PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very long chapter, I'll try to write at least 2,500 words for each chapter, but don't expect more than 4,500 like this one for every chapter. I felt that just story building was a bit boring so I made it longer.

5:56 PM. 

Murdoc Niccals was going between flicking his eyes from the clock in his block’s common room and one of the security cameras. It was the big night tonight, the night where he would finally get out of this disgusting, horrible, obnoxious prison. It’s sort of safe out there now that El Mierda has been taken care of. 

After talking to some of his favorite fans, he convinced them to hack into the prison’s security system tonight at 6:00 PM. At that exact time, if everything goes as expected, the security cameras will turn off and the doors will unlock everywhere in the prison. Also, with his professional planning and help from his fans, at the same time two of the most dangerous inmates will start a fight on the other end of the prison and the riot sirens will go off, making most of the guards rush to that area. 

Murdoc is expecting at best the rest of the inmates will use the opportunity to start a riot, killing some of either the guards or inmates which will give him at least a month for them to notice he isn’t here. At worst the guards will stop the fight and make everything go back to normal in an hour, giving him maybe a day or two until they notice. 

If he has more time he would be able to get a lawyer and fight the first arrest and pray to Satan that they don’t give him more time for breaking out of prison, he’s already supposed to be there for life. With less time he might have to use most of that time to run, maybe find a boat or plane and go back to Plastic Beach. He hoped to never have to be stranded at the damned island ever again, but it might be his only choice if the law comes looking for him. He knows he doesn’t want to see the bastards that make up his band just yet, even Noodle who had helped him in a way.

The bassist tapped his finger against his leg nervously. Normally he would dig his nails into his skin until it hurt when he was nervous like this, but while he was incapacitated at the infirmary the bloody stupid nurses cut his nails down to his fingertips. They claimed that having nails that long and pointed were too dangerous. He would have been more flattered at the if he didn’t just lose a fight. 

The absurdly loud siren made him flinch out of his thoughts. The man scrambled out of his seat, stood there like the rest of the inmates in the common room, and looked at the clock, 6:00 PM, showtime. The camera was now uselessly dangling there like a cheap cat toy. The guards ordered them all on the ground. Murdoc complied, but as soon as they were face-first on the ground the guards left to where their radios said the commotion was. He along with the other inmates stood back up and scattered once they discovered the doors were unlocked. It was now or never. 

It is 8:00 PM.

2D was sitting on the end of the bed when the alarm on his phone went off in his hands. He didn’t really need to set an alarm it seems because he’s been paying attention to the time all day. The singer sighed, got up from the bed, and went to the hotel room closet to put on his jacket. 

He waited specifically for now to head out because Russel, Noodle, and Ace said they were going out to have fun around 7:30. It was Ace’s first time in London and the two of them wanted to make it memorable for him. They offered to take 2D with them, but he said that he just wanted to relax tonight. It was a bit ironic because right now he was far from relaxed. 

2D had been planning to do this as soon as he heard that the band would go back to the UK on tour. He knew that if he chose to tell the others they would be worried about him, so he didn’t. He couldn’t blame how they would feel though, he’s a bit worried with himself as well. He’s been feeling different since a few weeks ago. He shouldn’t want to do this, but he needs to for some unknown reason to the singer. 

Rushing out of the hotel lobby, 2D could smell the familiar scent of fresh rain against the pavement. The taxi that was waiting for him honked their horn while he took in the familiar sight of London at sunset. He had prepaid the taxi driver, so he wasn’t that worried about their impatience. 

Nonetheless after his moment of basking in the sunset, 2D rushed into the cab and gave the man a little nod. The driver didn’t say anything other than a quick hello and pulled away from the hotel. With a small sigh, 2D took his phone out of his pocket and started scrolling through twitter. He has almost two and a half hours before he gets to where he’s going to. It better be worth it. This little trip might not even do anything for him, but he prefers to be an optimist about stuff like this.

9:48 PM is what the car’s clock says when Murdoc reaches his planned destination. He taps the steering wheel in thought. He can’t keep this car, he hotwired and stole this car from the parking lot at the prison. Angrily, he slams his fist on top of the steering wheel. This isn’t how it was supposed to go; he was supposed to be enjoying his freedom, not worrying about everything. He puts the car back into drive and parks it a few blocks away from his old house. It’s not great, but he doesn’t want the neighbors to see the car in front of his old residence.

As soon as Murdoc left the car he began sprinting to his house. He was still wearing his prison uniform and didn’t want his neighbors to see that either. Stoke-on-Trent seemed to be dead tonight, so it looked like he was in the clear for now. After looking behind him to make sure no one was around, he reached on top of the doorway and felt for the spare key he kept for times like this.

He flung his arm off as fast as he could when he felt something large and furry, “Fucking hell!” he said louder than he would have liked. Murdoc glared as hard as he could at the spider that was now scampering off his small porch. When he got his key this time he went inside and closed the door behind him. Leaning against the door he put his hands over his face and sighed. 

He couldn’t stay long. When the prison eventually notices that he’s missing this would be one of the first places they’d look, other than the band of course. He’s had this small house since before he started Gorillaz. It was his first real house. 2D used to stay here for hours when he was still a vegetable. He actually still came over for hours after he wasn’t a vegetable anymore. In fact, some could say that this was the house where Gorillaz was born. When it was just him and Stuart, eventually 2D. He couldn’t ever bring himself to sell it, and now he just uses it as a shitty place to stay when the band comes to England. 

It’s a good thing he never sold it, because now he has nowhere else in England to go other than back to prison. After all the work he did he was not going back to prison. His plan worked perfectly resulting in him sneaking out of the building with ease. Admittingly, he should have had an escape vehicle ready, but he’ll have to worry about disposing of that later. 

After pushing himself off the door, Murdoc half-ran up the set of stairs. Once in his bedroom he stripped off his prison uniform and threw them in the corner of the room. He’s going to have to burn those, or maybe he’ll keep them as a souvenir to remind him how much he hates the government. Yanking open his dresser drawers he finds something decent to put on for now; that being his black skinny jeans and his black sweater from a long time ago. He took his upside-down cross, put it over his sweater, and then adjusted his hair in the mirror.

The bassist scowled at his reflection. He could still feel the dirt from prison clinging on him even if he couldn’t see it. Should he risk getting a shower? There might not be any shampoo or soap for him to use, but at least he’d feel a little less dirty. Years ago, he wouldn’t really worry about being dirty or smelling bad, but after his multiple times in prison he’s come to appreciate those that keep themselves hygienic. Satan knows that he’s had enough of smelling those sweaty meatheads. 

Deciding that since his plans have gone without a hitch, he will go for a quick scrub, no longer than 10 minutes. Stripping off his clothes once again, he made his way out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. Showering in the dark will not be fun, but he can’t turn the light on and risk being seen. 

2D watched nervously as the taxi drove away. With a quick glance at his phone he noted the time, 10:40 PM. About an hour ago he sent a message to Noodle saying that he was going out after all. They will definitely come back to the hotel before he would. He’ll need to find another hotel room somewhere in this city, because it would be very late in the night if he went back to his original hotel room and he really doesn’t want to stay here. ‘Here’ being a worn-out looking house in Stoke-on-Trent, Murdoc Niccals’ house specifically. He’s not sure why he wants to be here, he was actually very happy that Murdoc was gone, but a few weeks ago he suddenly started missing him terribly.

The house looked ominous in the dark; only the streetlights are illuminating it. The singer truly didn’t know why this house is the place he felt that he needed to go to. He hasn’t been to this house in years, but it was where he spent most of his time in the year after a car hit him in the face. Some of those months he doesn’t remember, but the ones he does remember made him actually feel alive for the first time.

2D stopped playing with his hands and moved up to the small porch. He can do this; he had spent months locked in a sea prison. If he could do that than he can do anything. Hopefully the neighbors don’t think that he’s breaking in. That is if they’re still awake and don’t remember him from about 20 years ago. 

After swiping away a few spiderwebs, 2D found the spare key that he’s seen Murdoc grab for countless times when he was drunk out of his mind. What is he looking for in here? Some clarity hopefully. He wants to stop feeling lonely every time he looks at Murdoc’s face. Noodle, Russel, and his fans care so much about him, so why does he still miss their bassist? Maybe he’ll find out tonight.

Putting the key in the lock, the singer was surprised to find that the door was still locked. After another try the door opened, did Murdoc forget to lock the door the last time he was here? If that was the case, then he wouldn’t be surprised if all of the bassist’s stuff was stolen by now.

2D put the key back above the doorway and went inside the house, closing the door behind him. The first floor of the house looked almost exactly as he recalled it, maybe a little cleaner than the last time. It also smelled the same, not a good smell, but not an unpleasant smell either. It smelled like someone’s home. The living room which he was now standing in had a TV that looked stuck in the 90s and the same old leather couch. There were a few keyboards and other instruments strewn about the room. The kitchen, which he could see a little bit of from where he was standing, was the same unattractive off-green color that it had in 1997. Coming into this house was like stepping back in time. 

He remembers passing out on that kitchen floor one night after Murdoc took him to a club. Murdoc claimed that he needed a taste of the rock n’ roll life before they become famous. He passed out that night alone but woke up the next morning with Murdoc sleeping on him and drooling on his back. That really didn’t seem to scream out ‘rock n’ roll’ to 2D however he went along with it anyhow. 

Everywhere he looked old memories would pop into his head. It was a museum dedicated to 2D and Murdoc’s past, both good and bad memories were made here. Murdoc was his kindest to 2D in this house, maybe he felt bad for giving him brain damage… twice. That was doubtful, more likely would be that Murdoc was using him to make a name for the band. 2D still couldn’t help but miss that Murdoc; the Murdoc that didn’t emotionally damage him, the Murdoc that only hit him as a joke, the Murdoc that saw him as a god, the Murdoc that he saw as a god. 

Forcing those thoughts out of his head 2D took the steps upstairs two at a time. His counselor said that he needed closure. He isn’t completely certain how to get closure, she probably told him how to, but he wasn’t listening. His mind wanders when his counselor brings up Murdoc, it really shouldn’t because that’s when he should have paid attention the most. She told him a lot of things in regard to Murdoc Niccals, a lot of which had to do with what he should do if he ever wanted to reconnect with him. He promptly told her that he never wanted to talk to him again. Not sure why she didn’t seem to believe him.

At the top of the stairs the first thing that stood out to him were the stains on the carpet. 2D doesn’t remember these stains, but Murdoc had returned to this house a few times after Gorillaz started so it isn’t that odd that there are new-ish stains here. 

The next thing that stood out to the singer was when he tripped on the edge of the stairs. The singer landing with his palm directly on one of the stains. The trip wasn’t the weird part, he does that all the time, it was that the stain was still wet. He lifted his hand off of the moist carpet with disgust evident on his face. Giving his hand a quick sniff, 2D detected no odor. That at least made him feel a little better about this predicament.

He wiped his hand on his pants and stood back up. Cocking his head to the side in thought, 2D noticed that the wet stains lead between the bathroom and Murdoc’s bedroom. Was someone here? The singer tensed immediately at the thought. The front door was unlocked. Maybe the house was in the process of being robbed. 2D shook his head at the thought, no, if it was they would have heard him fall. He would have also heard them moving around when he came in. 

After shaking off his nerves, 2D slowly pushed open Murdoc’s bedroom door. It was a bit darker in here, but after a moment his black eyes adjusted. The stain continued in here but stopped in front of the dresser and mirror. His eyes narrowed at the lump of orange cloth that seemingly called out to him in the corner of the room. Slowly 2D moved to the cloth and kneeled down to pick it up. His hands stilled when he saw the numbers on what he now knew was a prison uniform. 24602 was printed on the orange shirt. 

2D dropped the shirt and stood up swiftly. Putting his hand on the wall to steady himself he had to take a moment to catch his breath. His heart was thumping rapidly in his chest. This wasn’t possible… Murdoc wasn’t supposed to get out of prison for a long time. How long has he been out? Was he in this house right now? He swallowed the bile that was building in the back of his throat. Don’t panic, 2D, now isn’t the time to panic. Did he escape or was he let out? Should he call the police?

A groan brought him back to reality. 2D twisted his body around so fast he was surprised he didn’t give himself whiplash. He now noticed the lump on the bed that gradually moved up and down. Murdoc is in this room with him right now, sleeping.

Despite his conscience and his nerves telling him not to, 2D moved towards the bed like he was in a trance. He just had to see it for himself. There on the bed was indeed Murdoc Niccals. His face looked completely relaxed, peaceful almost. His hair was still wet and dripping onto the pillow, his bangs stuck to his forehead. 2D resisted the urge to touch him and make sure he was actually real and in front of him. 

Every anxious cell in his body was telling him to run, get away from the man that hurt him so severely. However, his mind told him to stay; this was his opportunity to get closure. Tell him off and then call the cops. Everyone will be so proud of him for sticking up for himself, he can do this. 

Not giving himself much time to prepare, 2D reached out and gave the sleeping man a firm slap to the face. 

Murdoc’s eyes shot open and he sat up so quick that 2D had stumbled back a step. Murdoc instantly felt panic and reached under his bed for a shiv that wasn’t there. When he realized where he was the bassist felt a new panic and looked up to his supposed assailant. At the sight of his singer looking both scared and angry he furrowed his eyebrows and tried to calm down. What the bloody hell was he doing here?

“What the bloody hell are _you_ doing here?” Murdoc asked as soon as he stopped panting. He put his hand over his heart in an attempt to stop himself from getting a heart attack.

2D flinched at the tone of Murdoc’s voice. He didn’t sound angry, he didn’t actually know what emotion the bassist was feeling right now, fear? Each of 2D’s thoughts ran into each other so he couldn’t find something to say that would make sense. He played with his fingers fretfully. “I uh… I just… um-“

Murdoc threw the covers off of him and stood up, eyeing the singer as he did so. He wasn’t sure what to do. Before now he was angry at his bandmates, especially 2D, but now that he’s in front of him Murdoc feels conflicted with himself. Why does he feel almost relieved that 2D is here? He should want him dead for all of the things the singer did while he was locked up, even if El Mierda was involved. “Is this some kind of withdrawal related nightmare again? Are you here to tell me nobody loves me? Well tough shit because-“

“I don’t appreciate the way you make me feel,” 2D interrupted the Satanist. He finally found his voice. He thought back to his sessions with his counselor. She told him to tell Murdoc his feelings when they saw each other again. The singer didn’t expect to see him at all again let alone tonight. He kept telling himself not to back down, he needed this for his closure. He needed to stop missing Murdoc. He felt tears building in the corners of his eyes but willed them back, he cannot show weakness. 

Murdoc scrunched his face up in confusion and looked around his room, expecting more unexpected sights, but found none. The only thing here that didn’t belong was the singer. “You aren’t real, are you?” He asked. The bassist reached out to touch 2D to see if the man was actually there. 

In response 2D took another step back, “Don’t touch me.” He took in a few shaky breaths, “You will listen to me… Or I’ll… I’ll call the police.”

Murdoc’s eyes widened at his threat. He searched 2D’s face for any signs of him bluffing. He swallowed and gripped the edge of his nightstand, “Go on then.”

2D didn’t expect him to actually listen to him. After a moment of thought and Murdoc just staring at him, he nodded and straightened himself up. “Good, uh…” All he has to do is tell him how he’s feeling. “You’ve hurt me, Murdoc. Really badly,” looking back up briefly he saw that Murdoc was still paying attention, “And you've never said sorry and you made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal, but it really was. I can’t… I can’t sleep without thinkin’ of the ways that you’ve hurt me. I go to counselin’ now because of what you did.”

Murdoc had his arms crossed but kept paying attention to what 2D had to say. He knew what 2D was talking about, the whole kidnapping thing. Admittedly that was a bad move on him, their collaborators seemed fine enough with it though. Murdoc knew that 2D was afraid of whales, so he used that to his advantage, but what else could he do? Everyone wanted Gorillaz back and it wasn’t Gorillaz without his front man! Murdoc kept his complaints silent, not wanting 2D notifying the police about him. 

The singer shifted on his feet, not used to the lack of fight from the bassist. He had to keep going, “Everybody online treats me like a bird whose boyfriend abuses her, and she never leaves because she’s afraid of him, and… and I think they might be right! I’m afraid of you, Murdoc! Even my counselor says that you abuse me and use me for money. Would you even care ‘bout me if I couldn’t sing no more?”

Murdoc scowled deeper. “Can I answer now?” He asked with a hint of venom in his voice.

“If it’s going to be filled with insults and your usual tactics then no,” the singer replied.

Raising an eyebrow at that the Satanist began, “Well, Stuart, without you there wouldn’t be Gorillaz, so yes you are very important. If you found out about my plan today and just followed me here to get some self-validation, then you should go back to your ‘counselor’.”

2D felt stiff at the other man’s mocking, “That’s not why I came here, I didn’t even know you’d be here! And I didn’t mean what I meant to Gorillaz, I want to know what I mean to you.”

“What you mean to me? That what you want?” Murdoc threw his hands above his head for emphasis, “You mean a lot to me you little twat! Is that what you want to hear? Why else would I keep you around for so long?”

“If you’re tellin’ the truth then why do you hurt me so much?” 2D and Murdoc were practically screaming at each other now.

Murdoc paused at this, “Because... Because” Because why? If Murdoc could get used to being hurt all the time, then why can’t 2D? He ran a hand through his hair, “Because I thought you could handle it.”

2D scoffed at this, “I don’t know who you think I am, but no one should have to go through what I did.” He has never been able to talk to Murdoc with him not being black-out drunk or getting furious with him. It made him feel just a bit more confident, more than he normally would have when talking to Murdoc. 

Murdoc on the other hand can’t believe he’s being so… submissive right now. That was the only word he could describe this as, submissive. If the threat of going back to prison wasn’t on the table, he would probably fight back. He really isn’t liking how 2D keeps pressing his buttons without him being able to fight back, usually the only person who talks to him like this is himself when he’s alone. “Listen, mate, I’m sorry alright? I really am,” Murdoc said softer than his previously yelled statement. 

“I don’t forgive you and I also don’t believe you,” The singer replied, now crossing his arms as well. By now he’s pretty sure Murdoc is just telling him what he wants to hear. Honestly, he doesn’t want a quick half-assed apology from Murdoc, he still doesn’t know what he really wants. He’s feeling a little better surprisingly from this conversation, he likes talking without the fear of being smacked. 

He still isn’t satisfied? What does he want from this? “Well then what do you bloody want from me?” 2D is beginning to test Murdoc’s patience.

“I want you to stop bein’ an arsehole to everyone… and I don’t know stay away from me.”

“Stay away from you? Are you mad?”

“No, I want you to stop hurtin’ me and I don’t think you can do that!”

“Then why did you come here!?”

“To stop missin’ you so much! I don’t want to want you around no more!” 2D shouted. He was taken aback at Murdoc’s reaction.

The tears crept up on him before he could stop them. Quickly, he wiped them away with his hand and prayed to Satan that 2D won’t mention it. It seems like every one of the other man’s words pierce him in the chest, each hurting worse than the last. Why does it hurt so much? He usually never feels this way so quickly. He only feels real dread and guilt when he’s alone at night with his thoughts, which he’s had a lot more time to do in prison. “Leave then,” he wiped away more tears that were coming, “Fucking leave. You don’t need me anyhow.”

“Murdoc-“

“Shut the hell up, Dents! Leave already!” Murdoc snapped at the singer.

2D flinched but didn’t move to exit the room, “No.” He doesn’t know why, but somehow, he feels that maybe Murdoc does care about him, why else would he be so sensitive now? He hopes he’s right.

Murdoc could feel himself exploding inside from all of the unnecessary emotions that he felt. Why can’t he just let him be a mess by himself, he just said he doesn’t want him around anymore. “What do you mean ‘no’?”

2D fidgeted in place. If this just gets him hurt again then he’ll never talk to Murdoc again, but if he can somehow help Murdoc along with helping himself, maybe something beautiful will come of it. “You need help, Muds. I still care about you, you know? Will you let me help you?”

Murdoc thought that at that moment 2D was the stupidest bloke that he’s ever met in his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise relationship building things will kick off in the next chapter! Also thanks for reading all the way to the end! I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Feel free to give kudos or leave a comment if you enjoyed and would like some more!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2D and Murdoc take the first steps of their new adventure. Both of them feel angry at themselves and complicated with each other. It's a new beginning, but the two are still feeling unsure about what's happening.

“You know when I said I wanted to help you, Murdoc, I didn’t mean like this,” 2D said towards his left, where Murdoc happened to be standing with both of his hands on his hips, looking smug.

Murdoc gave a short laugh, “Really? Well I quite enjoy this type of help that you’re doing now.” 

In front of the two men, Murdoc’s escape vehicle coasted slowly into a lake. It stopped raining a few hours ago and now the moonlight shines above, lighting the scene before the musicians. As each second passed the car got more submerged into the murky water. 

“We did make sure there were no babies or animals in there, right?” 2D asked after a moment of twiddling with his hands. 

Murdoc nodded, “Yeah… I’m about 99% sure.”

2D turned and glared at the Satanist, “Why not 100%?”

Murdoc faced 2D and returned the glare, “Because now you’re making me question myself, dullard!”

“Don’t call me that no more!” The singer snapped back, “If you want my help than you ain’t gonna put me down no more.”

“Never said I wanted your help, mate,” Murdoc replied and fished out his cigarette pack from his pocket. The singer took him to get some essentials before they dumped the car as per Murdoc’s request. Currently he was carrying his new pack of cigarettes, a wallet he nabbed from the car, and his old flask that was full of vodka he found in his cabinet. The alcohol tasted nasty and stale, so he only took one sip of the thing before dumping it into the very lake they were standing before. 

Crossing his arms, the singer refused to back down, “Well if you ever want to join Gorillaz again then you’d let me help you.”

“You can help me by giving me a light.” Murdoc didn’t know how much more of this hot-shot 2D he can take. He thinks he knows everything and Murdoc isn’t allowed to protest lest he get sent back to prison. The bassist managed to avoid talking about his feelings on the ride here despite 2D practically begging him to. If he wanted to go to therapy, he would have in prison.

2D grumbled to himself but pulled out his lighter anyways. The light from the fire added a soft glow to both men’s faces. With the cigarette in his mouth Murdoc leaned forward and lit the end.

With a wink Murdoc said, “Cheers.”

The singer rolled his eyes in response, exaggerating it so the bassist could see what his blacked-out eyes are doing. Murdoc has been difficult with him since he found him in bed. He accepted his request to help him but refused any attempt 2D made to talk to him. At least he hasn’t hit him yet, but 2D won’t let himself be impressed with that. Any normal human being should be able to stop themselves from hurting others. The second Murdoc strikes him he will call the police. He will never let himself become Murdoc’s personal punching bag again. His therapist helped him realize his self-worth and he knows now that his wellbeing is worth more than Murdoc’s vices.

The only visible part of the car now was the bubbles that came up to the surface of the lake. Murdoc took a drag of his cigarette. “We got all of the identifying things, yeah?” Murdoc asked.

2D held up the plastic grocery bag he was holding, “License plate, insurance card, registration, and you have the wallet, right?”

“Yep,” Murdoc replied, making a popping sound for emphasis.

“What are we gonna do now?” The singer dropped his arm and let the bag dangle loosely in his hand again. This whole situation is something he would be used to maybe 16 years ago, but now after the fairly legal activities in the spirit house he isn’t sure how to feel about doing criminal activities again. 

The bassist tapped some ash off his cigarette before he spoke, “Well the Uber should be at the bar a little bit that way in a little while,” he pointed behind them and to the right, “We can either burn this stuff now, or wait until the morning. That hotel that you booked should be okay for now, but I’m going to feel more comfortable when we leave England.”

“Leave England? I can’t, Murdoc, we’re on tour!” 2D shot Murdoc a look.

Murdoc returned the look, “Well I just took a leisurely stroll out of prison! I can’t stay here and wait for the sodding cops to pick me back up.”

2D took a moment to think and pulled out his own cigarette pack. After taking a drag he found what he wanted to say, “If we’re gonna do this… whatever we’re doin’, then we’re gonna do it my way.”

“Dents-“

“Listen, Murdoc-“

“No you listen to me-“

2D kicked at the dirt, sending rocks and mud into the lake. “If you won’t listen to me then why should I listen to you? We’ve been doing everything your way since the band was even a band and look where that lead us! You just escaped a prison.”

If there was anything Murdoc was good at other than playing the bass and sex it was arguing, and 2D seemed to let him argue without threatening him. “Mate, even you know that I was put there for bullshit reasons. I didn’t even get a trial!”

“That’s not even the point I was tryin’ to make,” 2D shifted awkwardly on his feet, “Can you just trust me this one time to make all the decisions?”

Murdoc let out an involuntary growl. Did he even have a choice in the matter? “You aren’t… 2D, you can’t…” He was really struggling to not insult the taller man. He knows he needs to play nice to get his way this time, but he really doesn’t think he trusts 2D. 2D never came to visit him, didn’t take his calls, made a whole album without him, and insulted him in interviews. He knows that El Mierda was involved with 2D at the time, but it was still a betrayal. The reason he made the Free Murdoc hashtag wasn’t to inform the public about that horrible soul harvester, it was his only way to get help. His fans that hardly even knew him were more willing to help him than 2D. Did they help because they didn’t know him? Is it because he’s so horrible that- No it isn’t. “Stuart, I’ll be honest here, mate, I don’t trust you.”

2D looked very surprised at this confession. He was sure that Murdoc was going to tell him off. “Oh um… Well how about this then; I’ll be in charge, but if I get us in trouble or do something to hurt us I’ll take a step back and let you take the lead. However, you won’t be pushin’ me around no more. I’ll listen to you, but don’t force me to do anything I don’t want to.”

Murdoc flicked his cigarette butt into the lake while he contemplated the offer. It shouldn’t be that bad, right? Just follow the dullard’s lead and take over when he’s being a dullard. It was alright, he can go with this. Soon enough he’ll be in the clear and can go back to doing whatever he wants to do. 

_Is it really that hard for me to go without degrading him?_

_I'm turning into my father._

Murdoc grunted at the unwelcomed thoughts that popped into his head. He hates it when his conscience decides to show itself. He wishes that when he sold his soul they had taken his conscience with them. The feeling of guilt or humiliation that came with those thoughts was usually enough to make him want to get black-out drunk. 

The singer noticed the other man’s discomfort and tilted his head. Is the thought of him being in charge really causing Murdoc this much stress? 2D knows that he isn’t as stupid as the media sometimes portrays him. He’s clumsy and he always has been; he also forgets things sometimes due to his brain damage, but he isn’t dumb. Not being able to take his self-doubts he asks Murdoc, “Are you alright?”

Murdoc snapped his head back up and looked 2D in the eyes for a moment, “Mm, yeah fine…” He let out a breath he had been holding, “Lead the way, captain.”

It took 2D a moment to realize what the bassist said. “Oh! Alright yeah let’s head out then. We should go now so we can catch our Uber,” He said with a small smile. Without hesitation 2D turned on his heels and headed towards the direction of the bar that they needed to go to. He dropped his cigarette on the ground and stepped on it as he went.

Murdoc looked at his own shoes as he followed along willingly. That was the first time he’s seen 2D smile since he’s gotten out of prison. He isn’t sure why it made him feel a bit better about this shitty situation, probably some bloody psychological bullshit. 

As they left the clearing by the lake, trees began to cover the men’s view of the sky. Through the leaves they could see the stars and occasionally the moon, but the path out of the lake area was much darker than the clearing itself. 2D pulled out his phone and turned on the flashlight to guide them. The sound of crickets and crunching leaves made the silence much less awkward. 

Despite the natural sounds of the forest, 2D still felt a bit uneasy with the quiet, especially after seeing Murdoc almost in pain back at the lake. He spoke up after a few more minutes of walking, “Would you like to hear some of the new album? I didn’t know if you were able to listen to it while you were in prison and all that.”

Murdoc scowled at the offer, “I would very much prefer not to.”

The singer picked at his fingernails, “Are you sure? The fans have been sayin’ that they really like it.”

That stung Murdoc on the inside. The fans liking the new album made the Satanist feel like the band and the fans didn’t need or want him… Maybe they truly didn’t. It was a dreadful feeling that he hasn’t felt in a very long time. The last time he felt this way he spent the night in the yard after his father- Murdoc felt a shiver down his spine. Let’s not continue that train of thought. “I’m… I’m sure, Dents,” He replied quieter and with less bite than he intended. He could feel his face heat up from the embarrassment of how timid he sounded. 

2D didn’t say anything else after that. He has never heard Murdoc sound like that. Maybe he was just worn-out; it would make sense since he’s had a big day and all. The singer couldn’t help but feel a bit worried for the bassist. Did the whole album thing really make him that distraught? He didn’t sound angry, if anything he might have sounded a bit afraid, but not entirely afraid. 2D doesn’t even know why he feels as much concern as he does for Murdoc, he was still supposed to be upset with him, right? This is the man that has mentally tortured him on and off for years, and 2D feels bad for him just because he sounds a bit upset. Why is his head so complicated?

The pair reached the end of the dirt track and turned to walk along the actual road. They should arrive at the bar in maybe 10 minutes, they had plenty of time before their Uber was there. If the mood wasn’t awkward before it certainly was now. Neither of the men felt comfortable at that moment but didn’t want to say anything either in fear of making it worse. 

Eventually they arrived at where they needed to be. Seeing that the car they were looking for wasn’t here yet Murdoc sat on the nearest bench. 2D hovered beside the bench and put the plastic bag he was carrying on it but didn’t sit down. The light emanating from the bar lit the parking lot. Dull music can be heard behind the walls; some sort of modern pop song. Both musicians had their eyes on the road, not looking at each other.

Murdoc did not like how 2D was just standing there. It made the bassist feel short and inferior but refused to stand back up and face the embarrassment that would come from that. He crossed his arms over his chest and kept looking ahead as he said, “Hey, Stu-pot, if I gave you some money would you go get me a drink?”

2D took his eyes off the road to look down at the Satanist who refused to look back at him. He kind of wanted a drink himself. Murdoc wouldn’t take the Uber and leave while he was in there though, would he? It was possible, Murdoc didn’t seem to like the idea of the singer being in charge. Would he even care if Murdoc left without him? It would kind of prove that he really doesn’t care about the singer in a way. 2D really didn’t like that idea but couldn’t stop thinking about it. “I’ll get you a drink if I can get myself something too,” He said.

“Now it’s a party, isn’t it?” Murdoc chuckled to himself and fished out a wallet from his pocket; notably it wasn’t his. He took out some bank notes and held them up to the singer, finally looking at him. 

In response the taller man shot Murdoc a questioning look, “That isn’t even your money, Murdoc!”

Murdoc shrugged but kept the smile on his face, “We’ve done worse, you know that. Plus, I don’t have any money right now. I’m practically broke and homeless.”

Grumbling, 2D took the bills and flipped through them, counting the amount. “Alright, but this is the last illegal thing we do until we get your prison thing situated.”

“Other than you housing a run-away convict of course,” The bassist replied with new-found smugness.

“Yeah… that,” 2D said now making his way towards the entrance of the bar. “I’ll be right back, what would you like?”

Murdoc stretched and put his hands behind his head, “Some whisky please, thanks dear.”

The singer rolled his eyes and went inside. The bar wasn’t particularly busy that night, but it had enough people to keep it open until its usual closing time. He pulled out his phone and looked at the time which happened to be 12:58 AM. The Uber should be here any second now. 2D approached the bartender and asked, “Can I just have a bottle of whiskey, please?” Murdoc would have to share.

The man behind the bar nodded and turned around to grab one of the bottles of brown liquid. “Does the brand matter?” The man asked.

“No, I don’t think so.” 2D paid with the stolen money and thanked the man. 

As he approached the exit the singer became gradually more nervous. What would he do if Murdoc wasn’t there? What is he going to do if Murdoc is there? He’s still supposed to be on tour with the band. He can’t just bring Murdoc back; the rest of the band would have a heart attack. He needs to think of something tonight; he said he would be in charge after all. 

As he exited the bar he saw Murdoc leaning against a red SUV-type car while holding the plastic bag that 2D left on the bench. The car beeped, and Murdoc shouted, “I said wait a second! See? Look there he is!” The bassist gestured to 2D wildly. As the singer semi-jogged closer Murdoc said a bit quieter, “People these days are bloody rude, Dents.”

2D couldn’t stop himself from smiling and handed the bottle to Murdoc, “It _is_ one in the mornin’, they probably want to go to bed.” He watched the bassist try and fail at hiding a smile. 2D hummed a small laugh.

Murdoc could hardly remember what they were talking about, he was too focused on his singer. When he left the bar, he perked up the moment he saw Murdoc and had a huge grin plastered on his face. It almost looked like he just woke up on Christmas morning. He wonders what made him so giddy. Remembering what 2D said he replied, “I want to go to bed as well.”

“We do have a hotel room waitin’ for us, Muds. Let’s go,” The singer said pushing past Murdoc to get into the car. He gave a cheerful greeting to their Uber driver and scooted over to make room for Murdoc. For some reason he isn’t as worried anymore. They’ll take things one at a time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if things are still a bit slow, can't just rush into the fluff and stuff though. If you enjoyed make sure to let me know! Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc and 2D somehow make it to the hotel room. They sing some songs and have a terrible time.

By the time the duo made it to the hotel they’ve been threatened to be kicked out of the Uber at least four times. Mostly Murdoc was the one who caused the problems as expected. First, he decided to comment on how rude their driver was as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot. Then he almost spilled their whiskey on the poor woman’s seats. 2D felt ashamed at how Murdoc was acting; this woman was kind enough to give them a ride at one in the morning and he was the one that was really being rude. 

When 2D told Murdoc to calm down he was met with fierce resistance. Their increasingly loud arguing about Murdoc’s behavior didn’t help the driver’s mood much either. At that point 2D was also embarrassed with himself. The last noteworthy thing that happened was when the singer tried to take the bottle from Murdoc’s hand which resulted in him flailing like a child on a tantrum. Because of that he ended up kicking the woman’s seat a few times. At least he didn’t try to hit 2D.

That hour-long trip to the hotel felt like the longest car ride of 2D’s entire life, and he’s traveled at least 12 hours on tour in the United States before. When they arrived, Murdoc had downed almost half of the bottle while 2D hadn’t drank a drop. The singer lost his craving for alcohol when he heard how slurred Murdoc’s speech was when talking back to their driver. He would much rather stay sober and make sure they lay low than have them both go to prison because they were both acting like drunk buffoons.

2D had to help Murdoc out of the vehicle and into the hotel lobby. After hobbling in with Murdoc dangling off his side, 2D sat him down on one of the couches. He put their bag full of someone else’s goodies on the seat next to Murdoc. After looking the bassist up and down 2D sighed and said, “Murdoc I’m goin’ to… Murdoc!”

Murdoc didn’t seem to be listening and instead was feeling the potted plant next to the couch he was sitting on. After a beat he flicked his eyes up to the singer before darting them back to the green leaves, feeling them between his fingers, “Mmm, yeah?”

“I was sayin’ that I’m goin’ to go check in, stay here, alright?” However, 2D kept standing in the same spot and bit his lip, a nervous habit. “Alright, Murdoc?”

“M’kay,” Murdoc said eventually. His head felt heavy, so he let himself fall slowly until his head was against the arm rest. 

The singer glanced over to the check-in desk where the attendant was busy on her phone, not paying attention to them. He turned back to Murdoc, “Don’t fall asleep, please. I can’t carry you to our room.”

“Your voice is so-“ Murdoc waved his hand around while he thought of the right word, “different compared to your singing voice.” He looked up to gauge 2D’s reaction, that wasn’t a horrible insult, right? He’s trying to abide by the rules, but also point out bits of 2D that he’s just now noticed.

2D straightened his mouth into a thin line, “Yeah you’ve told me that before. I’ll be right back, like I said stay there please.”

“Hang on… can I have your phone?” Murdoc held his hand above his face, waiting for the singer to put his phone there.

2D sighed once more, “That would be disastrous, Muds. You make terrible decisions when you’re drunk and you just got out of prison. I can’t have you postin’ stuff on Twitter or nothin’.”

“Nah I won’t do nothing I just… I just want to play some music, I haven’t heard music in years, 2D” Murdoc seemingly begged the man behind him. 

“You’ve only been in there six months, you arse.” 2D tapped his foot anxiously and looked around before speaking, “Alight then, but quietly or else I’ll… Uh, be not happy with you.”

“’Really, dad? Now give ‘er here,” Murdoc made more grabbing motions with his hand.

After unlocking his phone and opening his iTunes app he handed the phone to Murdoc. Before he could change his mind and stall anymore, 2D swiftly walked over to the check-in desk. 

The girl who seemed to be scrolling through her Facebook page put her phone down to look at her customer. Her eyes widened a bit when she looked him in the eyes. It was more of a ‘your-eyes-are-weird look’ than a ‘holy-shit-you’re-that-guy-from-that-band look’, he was used to both. She didn’t say anything about his eyes, but the singer could tell that she was freaking out a little bit. 

“Good uh, mornin’ miss I called-“ He clenched his teeth when he heard the unmistakable beat of ‘Sweet Dreams’ by Eurythmics. It was way louder than he was comfortable with. “I called and booked a room for two,” It came out more of a question than a statement. 

She looked away from his eyes and down to her computer. She was pulling up the check-in list when 2D heard the sing-shouting from the direction of the couch.

 _“Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagreeeee?”_ Murdoc swung 2D’s phone around with the beat. 2D bit his lip again and wished the attendant would go faster. He knew his face had to be as red as some cherries at this point. 

_“Some of them want to use you, some of them want to get used by youuuuu… Some of them want to abuse you, some of them want to be abuuuused,”_ Murdoc was pointing in 2D’s direction as he slurred the lyrics. The singer had no idea if he was implying that he was using Murdoc or if he wanted to be used by Murdoc. Both of those implications were some that 2D was not a fan of. He wonders if Murdoc even knows that he’s looking at him right now. 

The girl at least didn’t say anything about his drunken partner’s singing. She looked up after a few more seconds of 2D’s public torture. “Are you uh… two-dee?” She asked while desperately trying to keep up her customer-service voice. 

He nodded and took out his wallet. “Yeah, that’s me,” He said while doing his best to ignore the noise coming from his band-mate. The singer showed the girl his identification and paid for their room. 

_“Hold your head up, Keep your head up, movin’ on-“_ The bassist sang those particular lyrics even after that portion had ended. He just kept repeating them to himself and the room like a mantra.

2D walked over and stood directly above the Satanist, watching him sing the lyrics off-key now that he doesn’t have that part to sing along with. Murdoc watched him as well, unfazed with his new audience.

After a moment of them just doing this 2D reached over, grabbed the plastic bag, and said “You know you’re not doin’ very well for someone who’s tryin’ to hold his head up.” He pointed at Murdoc’s head which was now almost on the floor. 

The bassist, hearing what the singer said, scowled and stopped singing. “It’s a metaphor, dumb… ugh. It’s a metaphor, not supposed to be literal.”

2D was almost impressed that Murdoc kept himself from calling him stupid while he was as drunk as he seems to be. He couldn’t help the laugh that fell from his lips, “I know what a metaphor is, Muds, I wrote half of them in our songs. It was only a joke.” He grabbed for his phone back, to which Murdoc moved his arm out of the way, quickly avoiding 2D. “C’mon now we need to go to our rooms, It’s two-somethin’ in the mornin’.”

The song faded until there was silence, but Murdoc refused to give the phone to the singer. A drum beat came from the phone that Murdoc didn’t recognize. The bassist showed confusion on his face and asked, “What the bloody hell is-“

He cut himself off at the sound of the singer’s voice emanating from the phone, _“I'm on the high ridge looking down. While we're evolving, I get old. If I get back then I'll-“_ Murdoc stood up on shaky legs, hit the pause button on the phone’s home screen, and put the phone back in 2D’s hands. He suddenly felt very sober. Grabbing the whiskey bottle, Murdoc motioned for the singer to walk.

However, he stayed put, the phone felt heavy in his hand for some reason, heavier than the other things that he was carrying. 2D felt uncomfortable and he was sure that his face showed it too. He and Murdoc had another staring contest of sorts before the singer once again broke the silence, “Are you alright, Muds?”

“Fine, Dents.”

“You need to talk about your feelins’ more, I promise you’ll feel better! Now are you sure you’re okay?”

“For fuck’s sake, Yes!” He said louder than necessary. 2D instinctively flinched. They both looked behind them to see the receptionist quickly look back down to her phone, pretending that she isn’t seeing this shit-show. 

Wordlessly the pair with 2D in front walked past the desk and down the hallway to find their room. Murdoc was stumbling but could keep himself up. 2D would give glances behind him occasionally to make sure Murdoc was still following him. When they reached their room 2D unlocked the door and allowed Murdoc to go in first.

The bassist shimmied past 2D and let himself fall face-first onto the bed closest to the door. The sheets smelled like detergent and lavender, kind of reminded him of how Noodle would make him wash his sheets every three weeks or so. He misses her, even if he didn’t like doing all the things she pushed him to do. She was the closest thing he had to a family member that cared about him. Murdoc sighed into the sheets when he thought about the fact that she contributed to the album that he wasn’t a part of. At least she kind of helped him while he was in prison. He turned his head to look at 2D who was locking the door behind them. 2D didn’t care about him at all.

_He has no reason at all to care about me now._

_I’ve hurt him tremendously in the past._

_Noodle didn’t like how I treated 2D either._

Murdoc groaned and shoved his face back into the covers.

2D gave the bassist a quick glance before going to his own bed and setting down their things next to him. He really wished that he had thought things through a little better; wearing his clothes again in the morning would not be fun. He also needs to come up with a plan for the morning. He can’t just take Murdoc to the band, but he also can’t leave him here alone either. Maybe he could buy them some time by telling the band that he’s gotten very sick, but then they might come to them. 2D hummed in thought, laid back onto the bed, and put his arms behind his head. 

Running out of air, the bassist turned his head to the side and took a deep breath. He squinted and flicked his eyes around his field of vision but refused to turn his head. “Are you still here, Dents?” He asked.

The singer turned his head to look at Murdoc, not surprised to see him facing the wrong way. “Yes, I am,” He answered.

“It’s too bright in here,” Murdoc said, hoping 2D would get the hint.

He did and said, “You’re closer to the light switch.”

Murdoc whispered a curse and flipped onto his back. He flopped one of his wrists over his eyes, “I don’t really feel like getting up.”

2D looked up to the ceiling, “Well I don’t feel like it either.” 

Finally, the bassist gazed at the singer. He was looking up, Murdoc has been with him long enough to know where his pupils would be. His blue hair has gotten a bit longer since he’s been in prison, he noticed how long it was when they were at the lake and how it moved with the wind. For some reason he still looked quite young despite being in his 40s; he was still their pretty boy. Regardless of how pretty the singer may be, he hates looking 2D in the eyes for too long, it just makes him feel too many things at once. 

The singer felt his band-mate’s eyes on him but didn’t move to meet them. Each moment made the singer more nervous, what could he be thinking about? Was he waiting for him to turn off the light? Well he didn’t want to give Murdoc the satisfaction, so he’s either going to do it himself or sleep with the light on. 

“Do you ever feel guilty,” The Satanist asked suddenly. 

2D raised his eyebrow suspiciously. “About what, Muds?” He hopes that Murdoc isn’t trying to make him feel guilty about the prison thing. The reason he didn’t help him in prison was because he really enjoyed not being degraded every day. Getting Murdoc out of prison would have brought back that degradation. Well, he thought it would.

“I don’t know do you just… feel guilty sometimes?” Murdoc asked with a shrug.

“Of course I do. Don’t you?” He answered.

Murdoc paused while his thoughts were swimming in his head. He didn’t know if he wanted to answer that, but he did anyway, “Yes, I do.” Was that considered weak? If it was he can always blame it on his intoxicated state, he’s done it before. 

The singer brought his eyes to look at Murdoc’s for the first time since they entered this room. For some reason the confession from him made 2D feel tight in his chest, like he was hit by something. He smiled playfully and said, “I didn’t know you were capable of feelin’ guilt.” The bassist remained eye contact for a few moments until he seemed to not be able to take it anymore.

“Fucking hell,” The Satanist said when he looked away. He’s trying to literally see eye-to-eye with 2D, but for some reason it’s very difficult for him. He has learned growing up that those who are below others are treated terribly and that he should always strive to be on top. His father made Murdoc personally know that he was below him at every possible moment. Why does he still act like his father? He hates him with every fiber of his being. 

While playing with his hands 2D quickly said, “It was a joke, sorry. I didn’t mean no harm by it.”

Murdoc didn’t say anything.

2D was quiet as well until he thought of a topic that he wasn’t sure he should bring up, “So that song you listened to in the lobby… did you like it?”

After processing what he said Murdoc replied with, “It’s a classic, mate.”

“You know I didn’t mean ‘Sweet Dreams’,” the singer said slightly relived that Murdoc wasn’t mad at him.

The bassist looked at his hand while he fiddled with the sheets below him, “I didn’t get to really hear all of it.”

“Do you want to?”

“Not really.”

“Can I sing one of the songs for you, right now?” 2D bit his lip as he waited for a response. He didn’t know if he was ready to sing for Murdoc again, but he really wanted him to hear this song. 

Murdoc hummed to himself, “I don’t really want you to.”

“Well I’m going to anyway,” The singer said and suddenly sat up. He looked over to see Murdoc turn onto his side away from him. He held his arms around himself and looked like he was a scared child. However, he still seemed to be listening.

“It uh… It sounds better with the rest of the song, but I’ll try my best,” 2D said while tapping his fingers on his knee. 

He started with humming the beginning melody to bring himself to the right key. Starting softly he began to sing, _“LA why you're so complicated for me, twilight”_.

Between lyrics he glanced between Murdoc and the empty wall above him, _“If loving you's a felony now, then I'm a renegade, riding”_.

He saw Murdoc relaxing his posture now and the singer gained some more confidence, _”I'll be a regular guy for you, I never said I'd do that. Why you looking so beautiful to me now when you so sad?”_

Beginning to sway from side-to-side with the song 2D sang the chorus, _”I will always think about you, That's why I'm calling you back on my way through.”_

2D continued the rest of the song with a smile on his face and closed his eyes. Murdoc was reacting better than he thought he would. Not reacting at all was better than shouting and insults after all. 

Coming to the end of the song he sang softly once again, _”I will always think about you, That's why I'm calling you back on my way through.”_

Opening his eyes again, 2D looked at Murdoc once more and asked, “What did you think, Muds?” After a few seconds of no answer he tried again, “Murdoc?” Did he actually fall asleep? He felt his shoulders slouch from his disappointment

He heard someone on the other side of the wall shout, “Shut the fuck up!”

The singer clenched his teeth and felt his face get warm. He was trying to have a moment with Murdoc, but now he feels humiliated. He stood up and shuffled over to the light switch and flicked it down. The room was ingulfed in darkness. After feeling his way back to his bed, he crawled under the covers and huffed out a sigh. He feels like he might cry, everything is happening at once tonight and it might be too much. 2D’s thoughts should have been about what he should do about Murdoc and himself, but all he can think about is how Murdoc might have felt about the song... His song.

On the other side of the room Murdoc, as slowly as he could, moved his hand to his mouth and covered it. Wet tears flowed from his eyes and down his face. His body was shaking while he tried to hold back sobs. He can’t believe he has cried twice tonight, he has hardly cried this often since he was in his teens. What is happening to him? He closed his eyes to try and stop crying.

Murdoc really liked the song.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting somewhere, folks! Thanks for reading! Leave me a nice comment if you really enjoyed and would like some more!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc and 2D start planning what to do from here, here being their hotel room. Also Murdoc begins to open up some more to 2D.

Murdoc woke up hearing the distinct sound of running water. Rubbing his eyes, he wondered if he was imagining the hotel room in front of him. He actually got out of prison last night, didn’t he? The bassist couldn’t help but quietly laugh at his situation. 2D came to his house last night out of nowhere and practically kidnapped him. It’s not really what Murdoc was planning to happen; however, it certainly could have been worse. 

He grumbled to himself a bit after realizing how dry his mouth was. He’s a bit dehydrated after drinking quite some alcohol last night. Murdoc caught the sight of the familiar now half-empty bottle of whiskey on the table by the window. The clock next to the bottle read 9:22 AM. After debating with himself for a few seconds he decided not to drink the alcohol. Despite how much being drunk would take the stress out of running from the law, he’d prefer to be sober in case 2D fucks up. He gets to take over if the singer makes a mistake, which is bound to happen eventually. He’ll reserve getting plastered for when he knows that they’re safe for the night. 

Stretching, Murdoc got out of the bed and moved over to the bathroom door. He listened for a moment to hear who he assumed was 2D showering. He opened the door and said, “Good Morning, 2D. Mind if I use the loo?” He snorted when he saw the figure behind the curtain jump at the sound of his voice.

“You scared the shit out of me, Murdoc!” 2D yelled over the sound of the shower. He huffed in annoyance at both Murdoc and his body’s natural reaction to Murdoc, which is to brace itself. He could see that the bassist’s silhouette was already heading for the toilet, so he didn’t bother to give him permission or not. “Just don’t flush, please!” He yelled again.

The Satanist gave the other man a thumbs-up despite knowing that he probably can’t see it. After he finished urinating, he moved over to the sink and stuck his head under the faucet. Why pay for bottled water when there was a perfectly good drink right here? Perfectly good was an overstatement because he can taste the metal in the water. Murdoc grimaced and stood straight once more, “Ya’ almost done, mate?”

Why is he still in the bathroom? 2D was enjoying his alone time in the shower until he almost pissed himself. Grabbing for the tiny bottle of shampoo he answered, “Just let me wash my hair then I’ll be out.”

Murdoc smoothed some of his own hair down in the mirror. He looked back over to the curtain before making his way out of the small, foggy, room. “Alright then, take your time. I’m going to be in our room,” He said on the way out. 

2D’s hands in his blue hair slowed a bit after he thought about what Murdoc said. ‘Take your time’? Why does he want him to do that? Is he planning something? Will he be gone by the time 2D gets out of the shower? He bit his lip and worked his hands through his hair a little faster. 

In the other room Murdoc looked through the menu for their room service. He was starving after not eating anything last night. Would 2D mind if he got some food? It is his money after all. He probably wouldn’t mind as much if the bassist ordered something for him as well.

The singer scrubbed his scalp under the faucet until he felt that all of the suds were out of his hair. Then he tore the curtain open and hopped out of the shower. Swiftly, he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door. His hair was dripping water droplets that littered the floor with every step he took. 2D saw Murdoc sitting on the bed in the hotel room where he said he’d be. Before he could stop himself, he let out a sigh and relaxed his posture. 

Murdoc raised an eyebrow in question. 2D looked like an absolute nutcase when he slammed the door open. His eyes were wide-open and was still dripping wet, did he even dry himself? However, after getting a good look at Murdoc he seemed to have chilled out a bit. Still, the bassist was curious, “What the bloody hell happened to you in there?”

“What?” 2D asked. He thought about what he said for a moment and then realized how he must have looked. Maybe he should have thought before he acted. Of course Murdoc would still be here, where else would he go? “Oh, um, nothin’ sorry,” He said after Murdoc continued to bewilderingly stare at him.

“You left the shower on,” The Satanist was having a very hard time trying to not say something ‘mean’ about the way the singer was acting. 

Turning around he noticed that yes, the shower was still on. 2D ran back into the bathroom and turned the faucet off. He could hear Murdoc laughing in the other room; it was like he was calling him stupid without actually saying it. While he was still in here he might as well finish his shower routine and dry himself properly. 

Murdoc couldn’t help but feel terrified for his own safety. Right now his life was in the hands of a man who didn’t know how to properly shower. He leaned back on the bed and groaned in frustration. At least they had some food on the way thanks to him, but he would much prefer to be in charge. 2D better appreciate what he did. Humming to himself, he reached for the remote on his end table and turned on the television. The news was on and reporting on something from the United States. 

2D, now fully dry and clothed went back into the room where their beds were and sat at the edge of Murdoc’s bed. He still feels like rubbish from last night. He really wanted Murdoc to hear the song that he wrote. Surely, he had to hear some of it, but he was afraid that if he asked the Satanist about it he would just deny it. The singer thought about talking to Murdoc about how he felt about last night. His therapist told him to talk to Murdoc about things like feelings after all. 

He also wishes that Murdoc would talk to him about stuff as well. 2D wants to understand why the other man acts the way he does; more specifically, why he feels the need to manipulate and hurt others. The singer has been told about some of the hardships that the bassist has been through. It was actually Murdoc himself that told 2D about those things when he was so drunk that he couldn’t tell 2D wasn’t a woman. The whole time 2D felt terribly awkward while trying to comfort the crying man, but at least he got some strawberries out of the whole ordeal. 

The singer knows how helpful talking about personal problems are. The whole reason he went to therapy was to talk about his feeling and what was going wrong. It’s a mystery as to why Murdoc felt more comfortable talking to who he thought was a complete stranger rather than 2D. It might have been just because he was very intoxicated, but it still hurt to know that maybe Murdoc really didn’t trust 2D, just like he said he didn’t. He doesn’t trust Murdoc either, so he shouldn’t be as upset about it as he is. 

2D just sitting at the end of Murdoc’s bed made the bassist nervous. Was he waiting for him to do something? The man said he wanted to be in charge so why is he just sitting here? Is he actually going mad? With what happened with the shower he might actually believe that. “So, what’s your plan, leader of ours?” He decided to ask and try to break the man’s trance. 

Looking behind him, he saw Murdoc give him a confused look. 2D started playing with his fingers before he answered with, “Um, well we still need to burn that stuff from that car. Then I figured we could get some of your stuff, like your clothes and whatever else you need.”

“Sounds good so far, then what?” Murdoc asked and propped his head up on his arm. 

2D looked away for a moment before answering with, “I still haven’t really thought that part through, I was kind of hopin’ we could just figure it out as we go.”

“’Figure it out as we go’? It’s my life your talking about, Dents, I would appreciate it if you put some effort!” Murdoc said now sitting straight up. He practically growled at the other man. 

2D cringed at the familiar sound of Murdoc’s anger. He can’t back down now, “I am puttin’ in effort! I got us a place to sleep, didn’t I?” 

“Well what about food? I’m practically starving here, I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday,” Murdoc said fully knowing that they had food coming.

“That isn’t a problem, we can go wherever you want and get some food, we aren’t in the wild or nothin’,” He said thankful that the bassist didn’t seem genuinely as angry as he thought he was.

Murdoc smiled smugly and said, “Well I actually took care of our breakfast and ordered us some room service.”

2D looked surprised for a moment, “Really? What did you get?”

“Well I got myself some coffee and an omelet. Wasn’t sure what you wanted so I got you some pancakes since I know you like those, also some herbal tea since you don’t like coffee, which is a sin, really,” The Satanist said before crawling over to sit next to 2D.

The singer gave the other man a pleasant smile, seemingly forgetting about the beginning of a budding argument. “Oh, well thank you, Muds! I’m glad you remembered what I like.”

The bassist turned his attention over to the television and mumbled a “Don’t mention it.” 2D was always too forgiving with him. He should be glad that 2D was still in a way the same as he’s always been, but he can’t help but have that nagging voice in the back of his head telling him that he deserves punishment for his actions. 

2D noticed the slight change in behavior with Murdoc. Did he make Murdoc upset with something he said? All he did was thank him. He wished once again that the bassist was comfortable enough to talk to him. Well why does Murdoc have to talk to him if he won’t talk to Murdoc? He was being a bit of a hypocrite here. Maybe he should actually try to talk to Murdoc, “Hey, Muds?”

Murdoc was still watching the news when he replied with, “Yeah?”

The singer bit his lip for a moment apprehensively before speaking, “Last night you fell asleep, right?”

“Well considering the fact that I woke up this morning I would say that I did.”

2D started watching the television as well, “I know that. What I meant was, did you fall asleep while I was singin’ to you? Because I really would rather that you listened to me.”

“I did listen to you, moron! You made sure of that didn’t you? How could I fall asleep right then?” Murdoc looked to 2D and met his eyes. Then he felt his heartbeat quicken when he realized his mistake, “Shit, I didn’t mean to call you a moron, I swear.”

“Did you like it though?” 2D asked without emotion, just focused on the Satanist’s reaction. 

They stared at each other for what must have been a full minute while Murdoc was thinking of what to say. Finally, he said, “It was alright, yeah.” That was only half-true, he loved it. It seemed like the singer wrote it specifically for him, even if he knew that was unlikely he still felt strong emotions from it. It wasn’t even the best song he’s ever heard but coming from 2D he wouldn’t mind listening to nothing but that song for the rest of his life. He knows he doesn’t really deserve to receive unconditional love from anyone, but those lyrics were probably the closest he’d get to feeling love from another person. That song better be on the new album or he would be very upset with the band.

2D couldn’t even comprehend the feeling of disappointment that came from hearing the underwhelming answer. “Really?” He deadpanned, “It’s just ‘alright’?”

Now Murdoc was panicking on the inside. The way 2D was reacting made him think that the song might have actually been for him. He just got done telling himself that he doesn’t deserve that. “Well it’s a good song, just not really… Satan, I don’t even know what you want me to say, 2D.”

“I myself don’t really know what I want you to say. I just… need to hear you talk about it. Like why do you not like it?” The taller man almost sounded desperate with what he was saying. That song really meant a lot to 2D. It put his complicated feelings into words and a part of him wanted Murdoc to understand it. He himself still doesn’t fully understand why he feels the way he does for Murdoc.

Murdoc looked back at the singer. He was very perturbed by what was happening here. “I didn’t say I didn’t like it! I do like it! I like it a lot, love it actually. Made me feel like I got my fucking soul back!” The bassist wasn’t sure why he was now shouting to the other man. It was like whenever he felt an emotion he just replaced it with anger and hoped for the best outcome.

The singer didn’t like the other’s new response either. “Well you don’t have to go and be all sarcastic about it. I spent a lot of time on that song!” He has escalated to yelling as well, it was what Murdoc understood after all.

“Why are you so fussed about the stupid song?” Murdoc said without thinking once more.

2D stood up, not being able to take sitting down any longer. He has to keep reminding himself that Murdoc has to be acting this way for a reason. Is he lying about not liking the song or liking the song? And why does he feel the need to lie in the first place? “I wrote that song specifically with you in mind. I thought you would have liked it given that you’re so self-centered.”

Murdoc didn’t even really register the insult. He was too worked up on the fact that he was correct. The song was indeed written specifically for him. The Satanist took a moment to find his words. “You wrote that about me?” He spoke much quieter compared to the loud yelling he did earlier. The thought of such a nice song being about him scared him.

“Yeah I did. Like I said last night, I missed you a lot even if I shouldn’t have,” 2D crossed his arms and looked at the other side of the room. He really didn’t want to look at Murdoc right now, he couldn’t describe his feelings towards Murdoc in one word right now except ‘negative’. He didn’t hate the other man, not at all. In fact, he still very much cared about him, but he’s wondering if it’s worth it to help Murdoc in this weird journey of theirs. 

Murdoc is kind of flattered that 2D wrote such a beautiful song about him. 

_I don’t deserve it._

He can’t believe that 2D still liked him enough to do that.

_I don’t deserve it._

He has been rotten to 2D since he was out of prison and the man still felt the need to share the song with him.

_I really don’t deserve it._

“I missed you too,” Murdoc bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he could taste blood. He didn’t want to say that. He shouldn’t have admitted that.

Now that made 2D look back over to Murdoc. The bassist was looking straight at the television. He could tell that Murdoc was embarrassed by what he said. The singer relaxed his facial muscles so that his glare was more of a neutral expression. He thought carefully about what to say before he said it as to not aggravate Murdoc further. He was just starting to make some sort of progress after all, “Thank you, Murdoc. I really do appreciate you telling me that.”

The bassist let out a breath. He’s grateful that 2D didn’t say anything more than that. If he were still living at home his father would probably berate him or worse for saying shit like that. Feeling somewhat more confident in this subject Murdoc said, “Really though, I enjoyed the song quite a lot.”

The two were cut off when the television started talking about a prison in London. Murdoc’s attention was instantly glued to the television. 2D followed suit to see what the bassist was looking at. The news anchor started off by talking about a prison riot that began last night at Wormwood Scrubs. Murdoc smirked to himself at his plan actually working. 

As the newscast went on about the known details, no one mentioned Murdoc Niccals. Normally, Murdoc would have been offended at them not mentioning his name, but since it seems that no one noticed that he left, he’s relieved. The prison riot was still happening if the news was accurate; the prisoners were demanding absurd things, which means that Murdoc has some time until they start looking for him. 

“What are you lookin’ so excited for?” 2D asked from beside the Satanist. 

“We have plenty of time to go back to my house now that we know they aren’t worried about me. Then we can find a way back to America and get like one of those celebrity murderer lawyers, they seem to always win after all. Then I’ll be a free man in no time, Dents,” Murdoc gave the other man a softer-looking smile as a peace offering.

2D looked unsure of this plan that Murdoc concocted. He agrees that they should go back to Murdoc’s house, but he didn’t really want to leave England. He still needs to talk to the band too. For now, he said, “We’ll go back to the house, but then we’ll decide what to do from there, alright?”

Because Murdoc was convinced that he could get 2D to go with his way he said, “Sure thing.”

A knock at the door stopped 2D from saying anything else about the situation. They’ll eat breakfast first and then head out for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know so far it's been a bit slow, but I promise everyone that now we're on an escalator to a happy and healthy relationship that these men just stepped onto. Thank you for reading! If you liked it be sure to let me know!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc and 2D go back to Murdoc's house to take care of business. Then Murdoc gets an idea and then 2D gets an idea.

“Thank you very much,” 2D said to their Uber driver after he exited the car. Murdoc had already made his way in front of the house while the singer was left to pay for their ride. He watched the bassist out of the corner of his eye; He could tell Murdoc was doing the same with him. Too bad Murdoc’s pupils give him away, 2D doesn’t have that disadvantage.

The car that they arrived in pulled out of the little parking area and started driving away. Taking his gaze away from Murdoc, 2D looked at the items in his hands to make sure they remembered everything. Car stuff: check. Half-full bottle of alcohol: check. Stolen hotel room items: check. Looks like everything was in order. 

Murdoc stood on his house’s tiny porch with his arms crossed. He can tell that 2D was looking at him, despite that he refused to look away; that would make him seem like a pansy. The bassist started tapping his foot impatiently. He would prefer to go inside before his neighbors decided to come out and have a chat about his recent prison sentence, but 2D must be a gentleman to everyone he meets. It’s like the singer doesn’t know how to just shut up and move along; if he did then Murdoc’s life might have been just a tad easier. However, if 2D minded his own business all the time then he probably wouldn’t be here right now. He’s still trying to decide whether 2D joining him is a terrible thing or not. 

The singer joined the other man on the porch and gave him a small smile. Murdoc didn’t say anything in response and reached above the door for the key. 2D can tell that Murdoc is acting a little off. He isn’t sure if it’s because of him or because he’s just gotten out of jail, but it’s making him paranoid. The bassist has been quieter than he usually is; And the only time 2D has found him truly obnoxious so far was when he was drunk. He’s not planning to kill 2D is he? The singer knows that Murdoc probably wouldn’t have him killed, but stranger things have happened.

Snapping 2D out of his thoughts, Murdoc shoved the door opened with a grunt. He turned around and held his arm out to present the doorway to the singer. “Welcome home,” He said with a small twirl of his wrist. 

“Not really my home, but I appreciate the welcome,” 2D replied as he walked past the bassist and into his house. The house was even more familiar to him now that the morning sun is shining through the curtain-less windows. He has spent a lot of mornings waking up on that leather couch. Sometimes he would surprise Murdoc with breakfast or lunch rather since he woke up around noon. He used to try his hardest to impress the Satanist back before they were in a band together with little things like that. 

Back then Murdoc wouldn’t verbally thank him but instead thank him in other ways. Sometimes the bassist would get some of his favorites foods while he was out to surprise 2D. Murdoc would also take him to the pharmacist and get his pills for him when he was in so much pain that he couldn’t move. The nicest thing Murdoc has ever done for him in this house was when he bought him a new keyboard for his birthday. He heard from his uncle that Murdoc threatened to burn the store down unless he let the bassist properly buy a keyboard. It was the thought that counts. When he would thank Murdoc for these things he’d claim that he didn’t do anything worth thanking him for. 

What had happened to make Murdoc change and start hurting him? The Satanist had always been a mixture of rude, disrespectful, and impolite, but never flat-out abusive until Gorillaz was born. He’s only ever regularly hurt 2D as well. Murdoc was always fine with Noodle, minus the windmill incident, and Russel and him would quarrel all the time, but it almost never escalated to violence. So then why did Murdoc only hit and berate him? He doesn’t want Murdoc to start harming the others as well, but why only pick on him? And then there was Plastic Beach. He doesn’t want to think about Plastic Beach.

Murdoc closed the door behind him and put the key into his pocket. The key that he regularly uses is currently at the prison along with his wallet and other keys. Speaking of keys…

He speed-walked past 2D to the door on the other side of his living room. Silently praying to Satan, he hoped that it was still in here. He opened the door, turned on the light, and cheered to himself at what was in there.

“What’s in there, Muds?” 2D asked curiously before walking over to stand by the Satanist and look over his shoulder. When he saw what Murdoc was looking at he gave a small ‘ah’ in realization.

“This, my dear 2D, is going to be our home for a little while,” The ‘this’ that he was referring to was his old reliable Winnebago sitting in his garage. He hasn’t lived in the thing since Kong Studios, but he remembers all the fond memories of him getting black-out drunk in it. He’s excited to relive some of those memories.

2D scrunched his nose up and frowned. “You want us to live in your Winnebago? Have you even driven the thing since 2004? Also, isn’t there only one bed?” 2D wasn’t really sure of this plan Murdoc came up with seemingly on the spot. 

Not as worried Murdoc said, “Nah, don’t you worry about things like that. I have a garage full of spare parts and such. The couch is also really comfortable, I should know. A lot of lovely people have begged to sleep on that couch.”

“That’s because you’re famous, Murdoc. The fans probably would have begged for you to just look at them as well, doesn’t mean the couch is comfy,” 2D crossed his arms when the other man looked back at him. “Do you just expect us to drive around England until they get tired of lookin’ for you?”

Murdoc’s grin slowly morphed into a scowl, “Well what kind of brilliant plan have you come up with then?” When 2D didn’t respond he said, “Yeah, that’s what I figured. Also, for your information, we can ship this old girl over to the states, it’ll take them _way_ longer to find us.”

The singer watched as the other man started climbing down the stairs further into his garage. Sighing, he put his handful of stuff onto the couch. He’s still supposed to be in charge here, not Murdoc. He hasn’t even messed up anything yet. 2D bit his lip. The whole reason he’s here is to help Murdoc, not necessarily with his prison sentence, but with his mental health; and he didn’t make any progress with that either. 2D doesn’t want to go to prison with Murdoc, especially without making any progress at all with the other man’s health. However, he refuses to let himself feel like he has failed yet, it’s been less than a day after all. 

In the garage Murdoc tore open the door to his Winnebago. The nostalgic smell of decade-old cigarettes and Kong Studios hit his nose immediately. Taking in a big whiff with a smile, Murdoc hauled himself into the large vehicle. It’s been a long time since he’s stepped back in here; and now he’s upset with himself that he doesn’t come here more often. This tiny house inside of his house might have been the only place where he’s ever felt truly ‘at home’. He much preferred sleeping in here than in his actual room at Kong Studios. Still the best purchase he’s ever made.

2D was standing at the top of the stairs that lead to the garage. From here, he could see that the RV’s door was open. He has an idea that he’d like to try regarding helping Murdoc. He has no idea if it will do anything remotely helpful, but it’s better than constantly asking Murdoc to talk about his feelings. 

Murdoc, currently sitting in the driver’s seat, was trying to start the vehicle. He seems to have left the keys in the ignition for at least ten years now. The Winnebago wouldn’t even make a sound when he turned the keys. The bassist isn’t that surprised from this, the thing is probably carrying nasty, stale, gasoline that he’ll need to siphon out. It wouldn’t hurt to put in a new battery as well… and get some new tires… headlight’s probably out too. Letting out a frustrated grunt, Murdoc let his head fall against the steering wheel. 

“You alright, Murdoc?” 2D asked from the doorway of the vehicle. He was watching the other man mutter obscenities to himself for a minute or so. Now seems the perfect time to possibly annoy Murdoc. 

“If I tell you to fuck off will you call the police?” Murdoc asked into the steering wheel.

The singer shrugged, knowing the bassist couldn’t see he the gesture he said, “Don’t know, maybe a little bit.”

Murdoc lifted his head off the wheel and gave 2D a puzzled look, “How do you call the police ‘a little bit’?” 

“Text them,” He replied simply.

Murdoc stayed looking annoyed for about five seconds before snorting out a laugh. 2D smiled as well at the other man’s reaction. “You’re going to be the death of me, Dents,” Murdoc said after some more chuckling.

After some time of the two doing their own thing, Murdoc checking out the other things in the Winnebago, and 2D fiddling with his fingers, 2D finally decided to speak up, “So I’ve come up with an idea… well more like a compromise.”

The Satanist lifted his eyebrow at what the taller man said, “I’m listening.”

2D still isn’t used to Murdoc just listening to him without much protest. It took him a moment to think of what he wanted to say, “Well um… I was thinkin’ that maybe we could go on a road trip. Could be fun, after all, like campin’ and all that. But you need to do somethin’ for me.” He looked up from the floor to see Murdoc watching him intensely. Keeping eye contact now, 2D continued, “I say that it’s time for us to start… gettin’ better is what I want to say. And I think we can do that by talkin’ to each other.”

“You know I will never be comfortable with talking about my bloody feelings with you,” Murdoc stated.

“Now hang on! I wasn’t done yet,” After seeing that Murdoc was listening again 2D cleared his throat and spoke, “We don’t need to talk about feelins’. I just want us to talk. I know we’re talkin’ now, but I mean like really talkin’ to each other. Maybe we could be friends again.”

Murdoc frowned deeper, “You don’t think we’re friends?” It shouldn’t have hurt him as much as it did to hear that. 

2D looked away and bit his lip before saying, “We haven’t been friends since Plastic… since Plastic-“ Taking in a long breath 2D tried again, “You know what I mean. Maybe even before then, maybe when you started hittin’ me instead of properly talkin’ to me.” 

The bassist could only stare wide-eyed at the singer. He was feeling it again, the guilt, it was always either 2D or Noodle that made him feel guilty. With Noodle, though, ever since her scar had healed he stopped feeling it every time he looked at her. 2D always made him feel like shit, he knows it’s his fault, but he just… doesn’t know how to make it better. He’s constantly torn between feeling angry at the singer and then feeling sorry for him. Now however, his anger is replaced with fear for his freedom, maybe that’s a good thing.

When the singer didn’t hear a response from Murdoc he started tapping his fingers against his hips, one of his usual nervous habits again. “But, I don’t want to give up on you, Murdoc. We were friends at one time; and I think we can become friends again, maybe even better friends than we were. We can start small, like I did this thing with my counselor when I was anxious about seeing her and she would ask me some questions about myself and then let me ask questions about her. It helped calm me down a little and maybe it can help us start a conversation. How about whenever I think we should, I’ll ask you some questions and then you can ask me the same amount questions so it’ll be fair?”

Murdoc locked eyes with 2D once again. He successfully stopped himself from having an emotional breakdown again by paying attention to whatever bullshit his singer was spewing. Once again, he really doesn’t have a choice here. 2D is more or less giving him an ultimatum, ‘talk to me or go to jail’. Crossing his arms and glaring, he said, “Sure fine, but don’t we already know everything there is to know about each other?”

“I’m sure there’s things we don’t know. Want to try it now?” 2D asked with a timid smile.

“Not really.”

“Well I said we’d do it when I wanted to, and I want to right now.”

“Yeah, I figured that’s what you were going to say, why even ask me?” Murdoc growled as he spoke. 

The singer moved to sit on the couch and patted the spot next to him for Murdoc. “It helps me understand your feelins’.”

The Satanist took the invitation and sat next to the taller man before saying, “Well next time don’t bother asking.”

2D ignored the snappy request that came from Murdoc and leaned back on the couch to get comfortable. After hearing a satisfying pop come from his shoulder blade he asked, “Would you like to ask me somethin’ first or can I ask you somethin’? Also, how about for now we do five questions?”

Murdoc tapped the armrest with his fingernail, making a noise to distract himself. He motioned with his hand for 2D to get it over with. 

“Okay um… how are you feeling right now?” 

“Annoyed,” Murdoc said quickly. He wasn’t saying anything more than that.

The singer stared at Murdoc patiently for a moment before saying, “It’s your turn.”

Grunting, Murdoc ran his hand through his hair. This is stupid, but he’ll play along to get it over with, “Favorite Movie?”

“Oh, I like a bunch of movies. If you’re asking about a non-zombie movie than I’d say Cast Away, but if you mean zombie movies than I’d probably go with the Resident Evil series,” 2D answered enthusiastically. He thought that Murdoc would probably have more fun if he asked something like that as well, “What is the best trip you’ve ever gone on?”

The bassist hummed to himself in thought, now this was a better question, “Probably the time I took ecstasy while also chugging some absinthe, I stayed in la la land for probably three hours. Saw the universe and then the universe beyond the universe. Figured out when I came off it that I bought 200 sodding kazoos, still don’t know what happened to make me get those.” 

2D raised his eyebrow in response to this, “I meant like goin’ on holiday, mate.”

Murdoc glanced at the other man and said, “Well those aren’t nearly as enjoyable as the other kind of trips. Alright how about… What is the strongest drug you’ve ever taken?”

“Why are we talkin’ about drugs now?” This isn’t how 2D was expecting this to go. However, it’s not going terribly, it’s actually alright.

The bassist gave 2D a smirk, “Because that’s what I want to ask about and you said that I could ask anything I want.”

The singer scratched the side of his ear before answering, “I haven’t really taken anythin’ stronger than my migraine pills. I used to smoke a lot of marijuana, but that’s not very strong at all.”

Humming, Murdoc said, “What a boring life for a rockstar, Dents. Why didn’t you ever try anything with me?”

“Because every time you did something strong you’d get all weird and it was kind of scary in a way. Like I thought you might die, sometimes your breathing would get shallow and we’d all get worried.” Before he could give Murdoc time to respond he asked, “Did you used to have any pets before Cortez?”

The bassist tried his best to ignore 2D’s last answer and give his own, “Satan rest his soul. No, I did not, I wasn’t allowed to keep any. Probably a good idea, they’d die quickly in my house.”

2D made no effort to hide his questioning look, “I’m sure you would have been a good pet owner. You loved Cortez, that thing that happened to him with the microwave was only a mistake.”

Murdoc reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, “Yeah probably, but I wouldn’t want to keep a pet in that bloody house.” His brother would probably torture it in front of him for a laugh. 

The taller man sat a little straighter at hearing this. It’s the type of vague stuff that Murdoc would tell reporters about his past. He shouldn’t be excited to hear about these potentially horrible things, but it’s taken as a sign of trust to the singer. “Why’s that Muds?” He asked carefully.

Murdoc tutted and waggled his finger in 2D’s direction, “Not your turn yet to ask questions. Now then, how many birds have you shagged, rough estimate.”

2D groaned at the new question, of course Murdoc would start asking questions like these, “Gosh I don’t know… between 100 and 200.”

Finally, the singer lit the bassist’s cigarette for him and he inhaled. After exhaling Murdoc said, “Pretty good I’d say for someone like you.”

Scowling, 2D turned further to face Murdoc, “What do you mean someone like me?”

At that Murdoc smirked again and replied with, “You know, sentimental, respectful-“ Murdoc trailed his eyes over 2D’s body, “Kind of wonky.”

The singer almost took offense to that, “How am I wonky?”

“Nah it’s my turn now.”

“Wait I didn’t ask a question yet!”

“Yes you did, you asked-“ Murdoc cleared his throat, “’Wot dew yew mean someone loike me?’” He raised his voice a few pitches and put on an exaggerated heavy cockney accent.

“I don’t sound like that, you make me sound like a real nutcase!” Despite his words, 2D couldn’t help but laugh. Murdoc joined him in laughing. “Fine then I’ll remember to only ask questions if I mean it, you tosser.”

Murdoc kind of hated that he was having fun. This was supposed to be a thing that Murdoc very much disliked, he doesn’t like talking about his feelings. He’s not actually doing that though, is he? It’s a small price to pay for getting to drive his Winnebago again. “Have you ever shagged a bloke?”

2D bit the inside of his cheek. “Not technically.” Truthfully, he’s gotten curious and fooled around a few times with men while they were on tour, but he’s never full on had sex with them. He’d rather go back to talking about drugs. He was more comfortable with that topic. 

“What does that mean?” Murdoc asked now very interested in where this was going. He expected a ‘no’, but instead got a ‘kind of’. He has never seen 2D leave with a man, should he have been paying more attention to him?

The taller man put on a scratchy, low, voice and said, “Nah it’s my turn now. You already asked a question.”

Murdoc frowned at this but knows he can’t complain.

“Will you promise me that you’ll talk to me like this more often, just us being friends with each other?” 2D pulled out his own cigarette pack and put one of the sticks between his lips. He grinned at Murdoc while lighting his cigarette.

“That’s your last question, really?” Murdoc couldn’t complain, it wasn’t a tough one to answer, but he couldn’t believe 2D wasted the opportunity to get something good out of him for that. The only reply he got was 2D nodding. After taking a puff of his cigarette he said, “Sure, I promise, Dents.”

He smiled after hearing that and gently put his arm on Murdoc’s shoulder. “Thank you, Muds,” He said softly and gave the shoulder an affectionate squeeze before releasing it.

Murdoc tried to hide the smile that was creeping onto his face. That was the first time 2D had touched him while he was sober since he found him. He knows that he’s real now.

“What’s your last question?”

Murdoc snapped out of his thoughts, “Oh um… I’ll just save it for later.”

2D tilted his head, “You sure?”

He nodded and took another drag of his cigarette, “Yeah, but I… it wasn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

No, it certainly wasn’t. He’d say that it worked quite well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ho my darlings! Thank you so much for reading! I love your comments and all the nice things you say. I'd rather take those than money if I'm being honest, please let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two men make progress towards their new plan of fleeing the country, then they get drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Next Monday I will be returning back to college for another shitty semester. So new chapters may come a little slower after the next chapter, don't worry though I'm not getting tired of writing, just focusing on getting that diploma.

One of Murdoc’s favorite things about his house is that it’s a block away from the nearest petrol station. When he primarily lived here he would always walk over there to get some cheap alcohol and snacks. A while ago he was over there filling up a can with gasoline. It’s not a lot, but it would be enough to get the old girl over to the station. He’s been working on the Winnebago for what must be hours now. 

He managed to find a new spark plug, a battery, and some lightbulbs for the headlights in his piles of car parts he has scattered around the garage. When he purchased the vehicle, he knew nothing about car maintenance, so he just bought everything he thought he would ever need for it. He had a lot of money from their first album, so he could afford it at the time. 

Now he’s thankful that back then he was a dumbass, he might just have all the parts that he needs. He’s just praying to Satan that he brought everything back from Kong Studios. Maybe about half of the original car parts from Kong are still on Plastic beach and inside of Cyborg Noodle. If he has everything he needs here than the Winnebago should be good to go as soon as he’s done installing everything. 

Disappointingly, he doesn’t have any tires, minus the spare under the vehicle. The bassist pumped some air into the tires that are already there. Hopefully they’ll last until they find a place to get some more. He just finished changing the oil, and now he’s going to work on putting new bulbs into the headlights. After he’s done with that the vehicle should have just enough new stuff to get it running. By the time the prison notices that he’s gone they’ll probably be out of the country. Murdoc laughs quietly to himself at the thought.

In the small yard behind the house 2D stands in front of a barrel that’s on fire inside. The fire ate through all the stolen car’s identification except for the license plate, which instead has blackened enough to not look like a license plate. Hopefully when the police come to investigate they don’t look in here.

When a ‘ding’ comes from his phone, 2D pulls it out and opens it to look at the message. It was from Russel and it said, “Hey man sorry to hear about your mom.” Another message comes while he’s still reading, also from Russel, “If you need anything let us know.” 

2D bit his lip and typed back, “Thank you so much, Russ. I’ll let you guys know when I’ll be back.” This might be the worst lie he’s ever told. His mother is not dead, she is still very much alive and sent him a letter just last month. It was the only thing he could think of to tell the band about his absence. They’re going to be offended when they found out that they lied to them about his mother passing. However, they might be even more offended when they learn that he lied to them about his mother for Murdoc’s sake. 

He feels very guilty for this; he’ll need to ask his mother to forgive him when this is all over. She won’t be happy either when he’ll tell her about him lying about her for Murdoc. His mother still doesn’t like Murdoc at all despite the car accident happening about 20 years ago. 

Looking up, 2D noticed that the sun was setting. Has today really gone by that fast? What had he been doing all this time? He just now started burning evidence. Murdoc has been working on the Winnebago all day, at one point he ran past the singer mumbling about gasoline. He watched the bassist walk a block down to the petrol station. Surprisingly Murdoc didn’t seem to care about being seen by strangers despite being an escaped inmate. 2D thought he even saw Murdoc sign an autograph while he was there. Maybe he should pay closer attention to the other man, Murdoc seems to not think things through when he’s hyper-focused on something.

2D brought his cigarette up to his mouth and inhaled. He let out a sigh as he exhaled. He’s satisfied with what happened today. He’s seen a side of Murdoc he hasn’t seen in a while; where he enjoyed talking to him about anything. Maybe it was just so he’d let the Satanist take off with him in his RV, but it felt genuine. Now he needs to figure out what exactly he’s doing here. He knows that he wants to help Murdoc become less of an asshole, but he doesn’t know how to do that. He has a law degree, but nothing in psychology. How will he even know that he’s succeeded or not? Will Murdoc suddenly donate to charity? Surely not. 

Hearing the screen door open behind him, 2D looked over his shoulder to see the man himself standing in the doorway. Murdoc looked very pleased with himself. He probably finished the Winnebago’s repairs. He turned his head back to look at the fire. 

Murdoc walked down the wooden steps and strolled over to stand next to 2D. He leaned over to investigate the burning barrel. “You look homeless out here, 2D,” He said after he realized the other man wasn’t going to say anything. 

“That’s the thanks I get for burnin’ this stuff for you?” 2D said with more bite than he intended.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, Murdoc replied with, “It was only a joke, mate. No need to be so snappy.” What crawled up his ass?

“Sorry, Muds, just in a bad mood I guess,” He threw his cigarette into the burning pile and put his hands into his pockets. Bad was a bit of an understatement. He feels incredibly guilt-ridden for lying to some of his best friends, he’s frustrated for having no idea what he’s doing with Murdoc, he’s very anxious now that he’s an accomplice in Murdoc’s prison escape, and now he’s angry at himself for unintentionally taking it out on Murdoc. He’s wondering if any of this will be worth it in the end. 

Murdoc frowned at hearing the tone in his singer’s voice. He perked back up a second later, “Well I’ve got some good news. He nudged his elbow against 2D’s arm in a playful manor, but then he stopped in his tracks when the other man recoiled and stumbled away from him. 

“Please don’t touch me,” The singer said after a very brief second of panic. He sounded pathetic and weak. The shorter man stared at him wide-eyed before relaxing his expression. He really overreacted there, but his body’s instinct was telling him that Murdoc was hitting him. He only touched elbows with him, it didn’t even hurt. 

The bassist was taken aback by what had just happened. Why did he react like he had burnt him? Is 2D really that afraid of him?

_It’s all my fault._

No let’s not think like that right now, he hasn’t even hit him since he’s been in prison. He has no reason to have those thoughts right now, he’s done nothing wrong.

_The things I’ve done before are affecting him right now._

_I’ve hurt him like my shitty horrible dad hurt me, and he still wants to help me._

_I don’t deserve it._

Murdoc swallowed loudly. “I’m sorry,” He said it without thinking again. He hates the feeling that those intrusive thoughts give him. He just felt like he should say it, despite his chest hurting when he did. It hurts to do nothing, but it also hurts to apologize. 

The singer’s previous negative feelings were forgotten as soon as Murdoc said those two words. He apologized genuinely and completely unprompted. Is he sorry for touching him? It doesn’t matter much to 2D, he’s just excited that it happened. Smiling now, 2D said, “It’s alright, thank you for apologizin’.”

Apologizing, as it turns out, hurts less than the horrid, guilty, feeling of doing nothing. There’s some embarrassment that comes with each apology, but it doesn’t last very long. Murdoc nodded in response to 2D but didn’t say more on the incident. 

“So, uh, what kind of good news did you have?” The singer asked while the two of them stared into the fire. 

Murdoc’s good mood came back in an instant, “Oh yes! Good news, I almost forgot! So, the Winnebago is almost ready to go, we just need to replace the tires when we get the chance and fill her up with more petrol. I also found the plug that goes with it, so we can use the electricity without using gas when we’re parked somewhere.” He stopped for a moment before speaking again with a pleading look to 2D, “Also, I called a guy who knows another guy, and I need 20,000 US dollars from you, Dents”

“What? Why do I need to give you that much money?” 2D asked with his eyebrows raised, “That’s not very good news for me.”

“The first parts were the good news, obviously. I, no, we need that money, so we can ship my baby to the states. I don’t have the papers needed to get her over there legally so we’re paying a guy to look the other way while she’s on the boat there.” Murdoc put his hands on his hips when he was done explaining, waiting for 2D’s response. 

2D dumbfounded, said, “And he’s askin’ for $20,000?”

“Yes, you… It’s really hard to hide a giant RV from both the United Kingdom’s and the United States’ governments. We’re actually getting quite a deal here… And I guess I’ll pay you back when I get some more money from our next album, whenever that will be.” The Satanist did the question thing so 2D would agree to go with him in his Winnebago so he’s not sure why the other man is hesitating here. 

For about 20 seconds the two just looked each other in the eyes. Murdoc was making grabby-motions with his hands as a way of saying ‘come on now’. 2D was giving Murdoc a questioning look as he did so.

Then 2D sighed and said, “Alright then.”

Murdoc smiled wider and stopped himself from slapping 2D on the back. “Great! Thank you, Dents, just write a check out to ‘Jeb Bush’.”

“Like the US presidential candidate? He’s smugglin’ vehicles now?” The singer asked and reached down to grab the water bottle by his side. 

“Nah, just a guy that goes by that name as an alias, he thought it’d be funny I heard. I asked the same thing.” Murdoc watched the taller man pour the water into the barrel to extinguish the fire. Steam and smoke flew out of the barrel and the two men took a step back. 2D must have breathed some in because now he’s coughing into his hand. When the singer finished his coughing fit Murdoc asked, “I bought some more alcohol while I was at the petrol station, want to have a drink?” 

2D threw the bottle into the barrel and smirked in Murdoc’s direction, “You askin’ me on a little date?”

Murdoc grimaced in mock-disgust, started walking back towards the house, and said, “You ruined it, now I got to get sodding drunk by myself.”

With the taller man’s long strides, he caught up to the Satanist pretty quickly. He laughed and said, “You’re not actually upset, are you?”

“No, you…” He looked 2D up and down, looking for something to call him that wouldn’t offend him, “You trousers-wearing stick.” 

It seemed to have worked because 2D snorted and said, “Ouch. That hurt my feelins’.”

He must have thought that Murdoc was as dumb as him, because he really piled on the sarcasm there. It kind of pissed Murdoc off for real. However, as much as he wanted to fight the other man, both vocally and physically, he wouldn’t. Vocally he won’t because he doesn’t want to go back to prison. Physically he won’t because it just doesn’t make him feel satisfied anymore, not even the thought of it, hitting 2D just made kind of uncomfortable now. 

As soon as Murdoc was inside he went into his little kitchen. He could hear 2D’s footsteps behind him as he went. Reaching into his refrigerator, he pulled out the bottles of liquor he bought today. He paused his movements for a moment and looked behind him to see 2D giving him a questioning look, “Hey can you go turn on my TV? Put the news channel on in case they start talking about me. I want us to know if we have to leave or not.” Then Murdoc continued to pour the alcohol into two separate glasses. 

2D nodded and moved over to the next room. He fiddled with the buttons until the picture came into view. This television was really old, and it made the people on the news look fuzzy. He’s surprised that Murdoc never got a new one. 

The bassist turned his head to see 2D kneeling in front of his TV, staring at it just centimeters away. He hummed before asking, “Hey you want anything to sip this with, 2D?”

The taller man stood up straighter and stretched before saying, “Maybe just a soda would be nice.”

Murdoc grabbed a bottle of coke from his fridge that he also bought today and put in on the counter with the glasses. He looked at the three drinks for a moment trying to figure out how to carry them all in one trip. 

Moving around the scratch-covered coffee table, 2D let himself fall onto the leather couch. He sat up when he saw Murdoc walk over to him holding two glasses in his hands full of clear liquid and a bottle of coke with the cap between his teeth. “Oh, I would have helped you if you asked,” He said.

The shorter man put the glasses on the table and straightened himself up before letting the bottle fall from his mouth and into the singer’s hands. 2D miraculously caught it with his usually clumsy hands. Murdoc then sat himself onto the cushion next to the singer and grabbed his glass.

“Thank you, Muds, I appreciate it,” 2D said and grabbed his own glass as well. He took one sip and began coughing immediately. He could hear Murdoc snickering to himself next to him. “Is this a cup full of just vodka?” He uncapped his coke and took a sip of that as well.

Murdoc hummed a laugh before answering with, “Yeah, I’m hoping to have an enjoyable time tonight.” Then he gulped down a generous amount of alcohol. When he took the glass away he winced and let out a cough himself. He hasn’t drunk like that in a while.

“And a terrible mornin’ tomorrow it seems. Hope you don’t mind that I won’t drink all of it,” 2D said, took another sip of pure vodka, and then chased it with coke. If the police do end up coming for Murdoc tonight, then he wants to not be completely plastered. At least if the police don’t come he won’t really have to keep Murdoc from embarrassing himself in public like he did last night. 

After a little while of the pair watching and commenting on the news while drinking, Murdoc started feeling the familiar light-headedness that comes with being intoxicated. He can tell that 2D was as well because he has become more talkative than he usually is. 

“Would it be racist to talk about how smart Noodle is? Because she’s really smart, like smarter than the rest of us,” 2D asked. His words slurring ever-so slightly.

Murdoc laughed and took another sip, “Why in the bloody hell would that be racist?”

2D laughed himself at the now-realized ridiculousness of the question, “Because she’s Japanese and that’s like a stereotype that they’re really smart.”

“Well it’s not racist, you idiot. It would be racist if you said something along the lines of ‘she’s smart because she’s Asian’. But just saying Noodle is smart isn’t racist,” Murdoc explained while twirling his hand around as if that would prove his point further. 

2D nodded but then stopped and said, “Hey you’re not supposed to call me an idiot no more.” 

“Sorry, force of habit… and what you said was pretty dumb,” Murdoc hummed into his now-empty glass.

2D frowned but said nothing else about it. He then continued from the original question and asked, “Well is it racist that we named her Noodle?”

“…No?” The Satanist said after some thought. The singer looked unconvinced, so he kept going with, “That was what she said when she came out of the box, and she didn’t say it wasn’t her name.”

“She might have, and we just didn’t understand it… because she only spoke Japanese,” 2D said and leaned his head on his hand. 

Clicking his tongue and tilting his head to the side Murdoc said, “Okay then it might have been just a tad racist, but only a little bit.”

“We’re bad parents.”

“We weren’t the ones that shipped her in a box through the post.”

“I guess then we could have been worse.”

Murdoc laid down so his head was against the arm rest and his legs were dangling off the couch. “We could have been way worse. I don’t think the fans give us enough bloody credit for how awesome we were at parenting. She became a star after all.”

2D laughed to himself and replied with, “I don’t know about us bein’ awesome parents. Remember that time we let her give herself a haircut?” He laughed a little harder, “She shaved half of her hair off.”

The Satanist laughed with him, “In all honesty I thought she could do a bang-up job, I used to give myself haircuts at her age.” He had to because his dad certainly wouldn’t pay to have his hair cut, and the bastard wouldn’t do it himself without accidentally cutting him.

“I would love to know what that looked like.” Then 2D grabbed Murdoc’s legs unannounced and put them over his lap. 

Murdoc almost fell off the couch in confusion until he saw the singer’s arms resting on his knees. “Ya comfortable, Dents?” He himself was actually now comfortable with his entire body level with the couch.

The taller man nodded and made a ‘Mhmm’ sound. He gave no explanation to the other man for why he did that. It just looked like Murdoc would be more comfortable this way. Now his lap is warm, but not uncomfortably hot. 

The bassist watched the other man through his bangs, he was playing with the stitching of his jeans. He wouldn’t have thought for this to happen when he started drinking. 2D is usually an obnoxious jokey-type of drunk, not whatever this was, some sort of reminiscent, clingy drunk. He would actually rather have this than 2D being afraid to touch him.

“I missed you, Murdoc. You know that, right?” 2D asked.

“You’re drunk, 2D, you should probably stop talking before you say something dumb,” Murdoc replied and closed his eyes. 

“Sorry, just wanted you to know. You might be an arse, but you mean a lot to me and that’s why I’m doin’ this,” 2D looked over to Murdoc to see him with his eyes closed. “Could you not fall asleep for once while I’m tryin’ to have a moment with you?”

Murdoc cracked an eye open and closed it again, “I’m awake you ding-dong. Just because I don’t say anything doesn’t mean I’m not listening.”

“Oh… Well I like it better when you talk back.” 2D frowned when he didn’t hear anything come from Murdoc. His vision was too swirly for him to be angry though. 

The singer tried to focus on the television, but everything they talked about had made him zone out. He just noticed that he was absent-mindedly rubbing Murdoc’s leg, just feeling the texture of the jeans. He stopped his hands and used one to flick some blue hair out of his face. He was getting tired.

Murdoc was actually on the verge of falling asleep when he felt a weight on top of him, primarily on the side next to the back of the couch. It wasn’t too much weight for him to handle, it was actually quite comfortable and warm, like a heavy blanket. Squinting his eyes open he saw a mess of blue on his shoulder and an arm dangling over his torso and off of the couch. In his drunken state he didn’t see anything wrong with 2D using him like a mattress. He raised his arm and rested it on his singer’s back. He was rubbing 2D’s back in slow up and down motions while he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading everyone! Remember that comments build my love for all of you and let me know how I'm doing! Anyways I hope you all enjoy and will stick around for the next one.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're in a house, then in an RV, then on a boat. There might even be a hug involved somewhere in that.

The first thing 2D noticed when he woke up was the sharp pain on the side of his neck. He slowly moved his head so that his chin was flat against what he was laying on. It still hurt, but this was a little better. The next thing he noticed was the lumpy surface that his body was on. Opening his eyes slightly, he saw what he presumed was Murdoc’s chin centimeters away from his face. His pulse quickened for a few seconds until he realized that the other man was still asleep.

As slowly as he could, 2D used his arms to lift his body off Murdoc’s. Then the singer scooted so that he was half-way off the couch. He felt what must have been Murdoc’s arm fall off his back. He moved his leg until he felt it touch the carpeted floor and finally got the rest of his body off Murdoc and the couch. Surprisingly he hasn’t slipped up on the way and woke up Murdoc. 

He was fully able to calm down now that both of his feet were planted on the floor. The taller man stretched and held back a groan that was in the back of his throat. His neck cracked when he rolled his head around to try and get rid of the stabbing pain that was there. 

Looking back at the sleeping man, he could see Murdoc turning on his side to face the back of the couch. That turned out better than he thought it would. Murdoc didn’t seem to be awake the entire time they had their little cuddle session. He was sure that if the other man was awake he would have been shoved off or verbally abused. Or maybe he wouldn’t have been; Murdoc has kept his word so far, only slipping up to call 2D dumb when he isn’t thinking. Then when he does slip up he apologizes for it. 

2D isn’t used to this kind of treatment from Murdoc anymore, it’s throwing him off a little bit. Through the curtain-less windows the sun was shining brightly. It’s only been two days now, he shouldn’t get too comfortable around Murdoc. The bassist is probably just pretending to be nice to 2D, so he can get his way like he always does. Then when Murdoc isn’t being chased by the police he’ll go back to his old ways. 2D started playing with his fingernails. He shouldn’t think like that, he can’t help Murdoc effectively if he doesn’t believe that it will work. 

“2D I’m going to try and say this in the nicest way possible, because I don’t want to go back to jail, but what you’re doing right now is real bloody creepy,” Murdoc said now staring at 2D who was also staring at him. The singer practically fell off him and then cracked his neck so loud that Murdoc thought he broke his ankle on the way down. He tried to get comfortable again, but the couch is very uncomfortable when he’s been there all night with a bloke on top of him.

The taller man stopped his train of thought when he heard Murdoc’s voice. He now realizes that he’s been staring at the other man since he’s stood back up. He also realized that the bassist had woken up and turned to face him while he was zoned out. “Sorry about that, I was just thinkin’ about some stuff,” He said and looked away from the other man. 

“Thinking about me?” Murdoc asked and smirked despite 2D no longer looking at him. He folded his arms behind his neck to elevate his head. 2D seemed to be zoning out like this quite a bit lately, was it because of him?

“Nah not really, just about what we should do now. Should we put your Winnebago on a boat today? We probably should since it’ll take longer for a boat to go ‘cross the ocean rather than on a plane,” He partially lied to the shorter man. He was most definitely thinking about Murdoc, but they did need to focus on their next move, so they could get to the states. 

“Hey props to you, 2D for actually using your head,” He rethought his words when he saw the annoyed expression on 2D’s face, “Sorry let me rephrase that. Thank you, 2D for worrying about our well-being.”

“I would have preferred it if you just answered my question. Were you tryin’ to insult me or compliment me?” The singer lazily ran a hand through his hair and before Murdoc could answer he shuffled over to the kitchen. 

Murdoc trailed along behind him, “A little of both, just some friendly banter is all. And to answer your question, yes, we should send her off today. Let me call my guy and have that arranged.“

2D opened the refrigerator and scanned each row of its contents with his eyes, “Next time just keep the insultin’ part to yourself.”

“You really never want me to insult you ever again? Even just for fun? Y’know like actual real friends do?” The Satanist asked with his eyebrow raised. He pushed past the almost motionless man and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

Seeing nothing that he wanted to eat, 2D closed the door and leaned his back against the cool surface of the refrigerator. He sees Murdoc’s point, friends do playfully insult each other, but they don’t mean it. With Murdoc he has no idea if he means each insult or not now. When the band started Murdoc had suddenly more malice on each insult he threw 2D’s way. Before the band existed, Murdoc was someone he considered his best friend; His insults would come with pats on the back or a little punch to his shoulder, 2D knew that the bassist was joking each time he did that. But now that he’s received bruises and cuts from the other man in the past he associates those insults to come with pain. 

2D looked Murdoc in the eyes, seeing his confusion he said to the Satanist, “You’re right, Murdoc, friends do insult each other just for fun, but they usually don’t follow that insult up with… never mind.” He realized while he was saying it that pointing out Murdoc hitting him wouldn’t do much good. The other man knew what he did and talking about it would only cause them to start their day out quite negatively. “Just please don’t insult me no more, okay?”

Murdoc was at a loss for words. 2D started out sounding like he wanted to argue, he had that annoying look on his face that he gets when he wants to fight. The Satanist didn’t want to know what the other man was going to say, but he had a good idea on what it was. He wanted to argue with the singer, he wanted to tell him that he hasn’t done anything since he found him. However, he knew that arguing would get him one step closer to going back to jail. Is this how they’re going to act around each other for the rest of their lives? If he’s able to get a lawyer and prove his innocence, then everything should go back to normal. He just needs to be patient. He turned his head away from the singer’s eyes and instead focused on the front door, “I’m going to go arrange a place for the Winnebago on the boat.”

The singer frowned as he watched the bassist walk away from him. Murdoc was supposed to promise him that he wouldn’t insult him. Oh well, he’ll just hope that the bassist had listened to him.

Two hours later the two of them piled some of Murdoc’s stuff into the Winnebago and drove off. The first thing they did was fill the vehicle with gas and bought snacks, drinks, and other things they might need at the same petrol station. Surprisingly the station had a lot to choose from, so they should be satisfied until they reach the US. 

Because 2D knew that the band had a concert today they went back to the band’s hotel room and picked up his stuff like his clothes and his passport. He didn’t want to wear the same set of clothes three days in a row, so he changed as soon as he had his clothes. They also went to another shop to buy some stuff for their flight and 2D bought some more clothes just for fun and changed into those.

Right now, the two of them were waiting in the car park outside of the cargo area next to the open ocean. They were sitting in the Winnebago looking for Murdoc’s guy. They seemed to have forgotten about the rough morning they’ve had together. 

Murdoc tapped his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently. They had a flight to catch in four hours and he’d prefer to get all the baggage shit over with as soon as possible. He was also incredibly nervous about showing his passport to everyone and having them realize he’s supposed to be in prison. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do if that happens, run maybe? Perhaps they should just ride on the boat with the Winnebago. 2D googled that it would probably take ten days for the boat to reach the United States and he doesn’t know if he wants to be on a boat for that long. He stopped his thoughts abruptly by the sound of 2D playing his melodica idly in the passenger seat. He didn’t really recognize the melody that the other man was playing.

2D looked ridiculous right now. The blue hair and black eyes were one thing, but the black T-shirt with the English flag on it along with the saying ‘I heart London’ was another. There wasn’t even a heart, just the word ‘heart’. He was also wearing a billed hat with the saying ‘shit happens’ on it; his blue hair was sticking wildly everywhere it could out of the hat. He looked like a sodding tourist, which is ridiculous because he was born in this country. Murdoc glared at him and said, “You know the whole point of us sneaking out of the country is so the police won’t find us, so why are you dressed like a walking distraction?”

The singer took the instrument away from his lips and said, “To distract them from you of course. Also, I thought it’d be sort of funny.” He smiled and gave a wink in Murdoc’s direction before he resumed playing some notes on the melodica. 

The Satanist wanted to tell him that it was funny because he looked like a clown, but he wasn’t sure if that would be considered an insult, so he kept it to himself. Instead he rolled down the window and leaned his head outside to look around. He groaned at seeing nobody and shouted into the empty car park, “Where the bloody hell are you!?”

Jumping at the unexpected noise, 2D dropped his melodica on the RV’s floor. Scowling at his dropped instrument he said, “Y’know we’re supposed to not have the cops find us so why are you yellin’?”

“Oh hush, you. I want us to catch our flight on time, we paid a lot to get two plane tickets for today,” Murdoc replied with his chin resting where the window was. He still isn’t sure if they should go on the plane.

“You mean I paid a lot, you don’t have no money,” 2D looked out his own window.

Murdoc grimaced, “Well I would have pitched in, but Noodle went and stole all my money when I got locked up.” He really needs to have a talk with her about that when he isn’t running from the law. Also, he should probably thank her for dealing with El Mierda, so she isn’t even more pissed off at him. 

“Yeah, she did say somethin’ about doin’ that, said it’d make you learn your lesson or whatever,” The singer said and put his forehead against the glass, his hat moving further up his head as he did so. 

“Lesson learned, I will never let Noodle into my bank account ever again,” He sat straight up when he saw someone exit the building up ahead. That guy looked both dirty and sketchy, seems like the man they’re looking for. 

The glass in front of the taller man’s face fogged up with each breath he took. When he spoke, the outside was even less visible, “I don’t think that was the lesson she was tryin’ to teach, but you’re probably right about not lettin’ her in your account.”

The bassist moved to hit the other man’s arm to get his attention but stopped when yesterday popped into his mind. He didn’t hit him and instead said, “Look alive, Dents.” He didn’t want a repeat of the incident where 2D was flinching and made him feel horrible. 

At this 2D sat back up and looked out the windscreen to see a man who looked like a someone who would smuggle cars come up towards Murdoc’s window.

The two greeted each other and discussed minor details about the Winnebago. He assured Murdoc that no problem would occur while on the trip over and gave Murdoc instructions on what to do once the man had the money. The man, who goes by Jeb Bush, despite looking like a homeless pickpocket, was actually quite the nice business man. He promised that he wouldn’t cash the check until they had the vehicle on land in the United States in exchange for promising that they’d never give his alias to the police. Murdoc agreed and turned to take the check from 2D.

He can tell that the man was taken aback by 2D’s appearance, but nonetheless took the check without any complaints. Murdoc silently cursed at the singer’s dumb choice of outfit. Before the man could walk away the Satanist called out to him, “Hey if we wanted to could we ride over on the boat as well?”

It took 2D a moment to understand what Murdoc said but when he did he felt unexplainable fear and worry, “Why are you asking that Murdoc? We have plane tickets.”

The man contemplated this while the bassist ignored 2D. Eventually he said, “I mean as long as you can survive in this thing for like a week and a half and don’t bother the crew, then I don’t see a problem with it.”

Murdoc smiled and let a quiet sigh of relief, “Thank you very much, we’ll consider it.”

Jeb Bush walked away with an extra pep in his step now that he had a check for $20,000 in his hand. 

“Murdoc what the hell are you talkin’ about? I bought us plane tickets why did you ask about that?” 2D asked.

“They have to look at my passport, if they see that I’m supposed to be in jail then this trip of ours is over before it even starts,” Murdoc replied while shifting the Winnebago into drive. Jeb said that there was a ramp around the corner in the cargo yard and he has to drive up that. 

2D started jiggling his leg up and down nervously, “We can get you a fake, it’ll be fine. We don’t have enough water for ten days.”

“A fake believable passport takes way more than an hour to make, and I’m sure we can bum some water off of them, these types of people pack enough supplies for months more than they need to,” Murdoc glanced over for a second to see 2D looking less than great. “What’s your problem, Stu-pot?” He asked as neutrally as he could.

The singer looked out the window to see the ocean and his heart skipped a beat. “Let me out, Murdoc,” He said quickly. His eyes widened a bit in alarm.

“What, why?” The bassist asked a little more agitated. Why is he on the verge of having a panic attack?

“I want to get out, Murdoc, let me out!” He was hyperventilating now. Everything suddenly felt too tight, too claustrophobic, he wanted out of this vehicle. When Murdoc didn’t stop the car after another minute 2D was thrown into fight or flight mode.

Murdoc heard the door open on the passenger side and slammed his foot onto the break, “2D what the hell are you doing?!” He yelled as he saw 2D scramble out of the Winnebago. His anger lessened considerably when he saw the fear and whiteness in his singer’s eyes. “Hey now… Why are you so upset? It was only a suggestion,” He said quietly now feeling concern for the other man’s mental state.

The now soft tone of Murdoc’s voice did little to calm his nerves. He paced back and forth outside of the vehicle, refusing to look at the Satanist. “I am not gettin’ on a boat with you. I know what you’re capable of.”

Murdoc put the RV into park and left the vehicle as well. He now stood in front of where the singer was pacing and said, “What do you think I’d do to you on the boat, Stuart? I can’t do anything, it’s not my boat… I wouldn’t do anything to you anyways. Not anymore,” He didn’t know how to be sympathetic or calm the man down, he’s never tried before with 2D until now.

“You… you’d find a way. You’d find a way to take me back to that horrid prison under the ocean with that horrible whale. I can’t do it again, Murdoc. You can’t do that to me,” He was rambling now. He didn’t realize how fearful he was of being on a boat until now. The thought of being in the middle of the ocean was too closely related to being on Plastic Beach. It made him terrified and he didn’t want Murdoc there right now.

Murdoc was feeling the guilt again, but this time it was so much worse. The tears in 2D’s white eyes had him wanting to take it back. He hasn’t felt regret like this since El Manana. He wants it to stop. After thinking for a moment on what to say he said, “This boat is going nowhere near Plastic Beach. You can ask everyone who’s on the boat.”

“They could lie to me. You could be lyin’ to me. You have been lyin’ to me this entire time!” The singer stopped his pacing and actually looked at Murdoc, that was a mistake, he just felt even more adrenaline flowing through his veins. 

“How have I been lying to you? I didn’t know you’d be in my house that night, how could I have possibly predicted that and planned to take you to Plastic Beach?” Murdoc understands that 2D might not be thinking rationally right now, but he can’t help but feel offended at this. 

“Not that, you tosser! You’ve been just pretendin’ to be nice to me so that I won’t turn you in. Well I’ve been actually nice to you this entire time and I actually want you to get better, but you can’t get better if you’re just pretendin’,” He felt a little better after voicing is concerns, but he still wants nothing to do with that boat.

The Satanist thought about this. He hasn’t even been that nice to 2D, he isn’t faking anything. Sure, he may not exactly believe that he needs any emotional help, but he hasn’t been lying to 2D about his attitude. The singer has heard him tell him that he doesn’t want to talk. The only thing that would probably change if he wasn’t being threatened with prison is that he’d throw more insults at the singer. He wouldn’t hit him again or take him to plastic beach at all. “Stuart Pot, I promise you with everything that I have, that I haven’t been lying to you. If given the option, sure I’d call you some funny names, but everything that has happened in the past two days is real. I want you to be my friend again. I missed you too, 2D, I really did. I loved the song you wrote for me, and you’ve been extremely annoying about the feelings stuff. All of that is real. If it makes you feel better, I’ll drive my girl up that ramp over there and you can stand right there. Then when we’re all done we’ll go to the airport, but if I get arrested it’s all on you.” Murdoc could feel how hot his face was at admitting all of that stuff, but if it meant that 2D was back on board then he’d do it again. He himself didn’t even know that he had felt so strongly about what had happened these past few days. How had 2D already grown on him again? He needs 2D even if he doesn’t want to need him.

2D couldn’t believe what he’s heard. It almost made him think that Murdoc really was lying to him, but he’s been around Murdoc for a little more than 20 years now and he knows that what he said was the truth. Murdoc has only ever spoken like that to Noodle when she was young and scared of new things, he recognizes the care in his voice. Eventually he finds his own voice again and smiles, “Okay, Muds, if you’re alright with that than I’d rather wait here.”

Letting out a breath he’d been holding Murdoc nodded and said, “That’s fine, just wait for me.” Seeing 2D’s eyes fade to black made him calm down. He hadn’t even known that he had gotten worked up over this as well. 

The bassist got back into the vehicle and successfully gotten it up the ramp and onto the boat. He parked it between another vehicle and the side of the boat with some difficulty, but eventually got it comfortably in there. When he took the key out of the ignition he moved to the back and grabbed 2D’s suitcase and his suitcase. 

When he kicked open the door he heard a yelp and a thump, and he instinctively dropped what he was holding in preparation to defend himself. He was surprised to see 2D clutching the side of his face. The singer was supposed to be back on land. He raised an eyebrow and asked, “You alright?”

“You kicked the door in my face! And my cool hat fell into the ocean!” He was more upset about the hat than his face. He knows that Murdoc probably didn’t see him, and his face wasn’t hit that bad, it hardly hurt at all. 

“Shit happens,” He said and smiled at his own joke, the hat was a piece of shit anyways. He saw 2D’s disapproval and said, “Sorry, mate, didn’t see you there, thought you didn’t want to come onto the boat?” He asked and handed the other man’s suitcase to him. 

2D took the suitcase and place it on the boat next to him. Murdoc stepped out of the Winnebago and shot the singer a confused look. 2D smiled and surprised the bassist even more by pulling him into a tight hug. The taller man rested his forehead on Murdoc’s shoulder. He just really needed this right now, even if it was from Murdoc. “I probably shouldn’t, but I trust you, Muds. If you’re worried about the plane so much, we can take the boat. I think I’ll be fine,” He said.

Murdoc, still caught off guard by the whole thing, looked around the boat. He half-thought for a moment that he’d been hallucinating. Everything seemed to be in its place minus 2D suddenly showing him affection. It made him feel warm in his chest. 2D had always used made him fear that he was going soft, but right now he didn’t seem to care as much. “Am I allowed to hug you back?”

“Of course.”

Cautiously, the bassist wrapped his arms around the singer. After a moment of embracing each other, Murdoc untangled them and said, “This boat smells weird. Let’s go on the plane instead, you’ll need to call us a taxi though.”

2D looked surprised, but also relieved. He smiled and asked playfully, “You aren’t just doin’ this for me, are you?”

The Satanist picked up his suitcase was walked past 2D who picked up his own suitcase and followed. He said as he passed, “Nah, mate, I’m not that nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading everyone! Your comments are always so nice and I might be addicted to them. Commenting makes me love you even more than I already do and feeds my addiction. I hope you all enjoyed and will join me for the next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murdoc and 2D try to go to the United States.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey fam, sorry this took so long, like I said before I'm back at college now so uploads may come slowly like this from now on.

2D can tell that Murdoc was nervous, maybe not as nervous as he was with the boat, but definitely still nervous. The bassist was uncharacteristically quiet and has smoked seven cigarettes on their 45-minute ride to the airport. 2D could tell that their taxi driver didn’t appreciate it. He gave the driver a generous tip when they arrived. Murdoc despite being obviously anxious, isn’t reacting anything like 2D had earlier in the cargo yard.

When they were by the docks the singer had a little bit of a breakdown. He had never felt as much terror as he had right there, even when they were actually on Plastic Beach. Just the thought of being under the ocean again in a dark room with no way of escape gave him a panic attack. He was on the verge of tears and almost passed out from how much he was hyperventilating.

Murdoc was surprisingly considerate about the whole situation. The other man wasn’t the greatest when it came to comforting someone, but the sincerity of his efforts wasn’t lost on 2D. It was also confusing to the singer, Murdoc had never spoke to him in such a gentle and caring way before. Murdoc had watched him have panic attacks in the past, sometimes indirectly caused by Murdoc; he’d also seen 2D in so much pain that he couldn’t move from his migraines, but he hardly cared as much as he had by the boat.

The two bandmembers are currently standing in line to go through airport security. Murdoc was picking at the edge of his passport with his nails; he had to do something with his hands. The line was going quicker than it usually does which is both a blessing and a curse. They were just a person away from the front. He still doesn’t have a plan for when they check his items. Hopefully the security guards really like money, maybe 2D can offer them a bribe. 

Murdoc is wishing that he could take back his decision to go on the plane. Being on the ocean for ten days with 2D wouldn’t be that bad. The singer was somewhat pleasant company so far, despite being ‘in charge’. 2D wasn’t lying to Murdoc when he said that he’s been nice to him, even making him laugh on more than one occasion. It was kind of nostalgic how they were behaving with each other now, kind of like equals. Murdoc hates it.

He showed too much weakness back at the docks. The Satanist put himself in potential danger so that 2D would feel comfortable and stop worrying. It’s disgusting, he isn’t supposed to do shit like that. He felt guilty about the past and what happened with El Mierda and he let that affect his decision. Looking in his singer’s eyes though, those scared and wide eyes made him forget about his pride and insecurities for a little while. He doesn’t want to call them insecurities but that’s what they are, if he shows compassion, empathy, or any other sort of emotion towards 2D or anyone else terrible things could happen. If his numerous enemies see that he actually gives a shit about 2D they’ll target the singer just so they can get to Murdoc. Also, if he lets himself get emotionally involved in 2D’s life that’s just another thing he’ll need to worry about. He didn’t want to harm 2D; he also didn’t want to let himself care either, it’s too scary.

The bassist felt the very man he was thinking about tap his shoulder twice and point at the awaiting security guards. He was next. Gulping nervously, he went to move forward but was stopped by 2D grabbing his arm and pulling him a step back. He was about to question the taller man but felt a breath on his ear instead; that made him shiver at the feeling.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let them take you again,” 2D whispered. He doesn’t really know what he’ll do if they try to arrest Murdoc here, but he knew that if Murdoc said the same thing to him while he was in Murdoc’s situation then he’d feel better. Hopefully the security guards are a nice group of people who will talk to them about their situation before going to the police. 

Deciding to ignore that nonsense, Murdoc stopped hanging his mouth open like an idiot and moved forward. 2D definitely didn’t have the same problems as him. He gave a half-hearted smile to the security lady and put his suitcase on the counter. She was about his height, which only made him more nervous. Her hair was tied into a tight bun which meant he can’t pull it to help him get away if need be. 

The lady gave him an odd look. Murdoc could feel the sweat on his back. “Are you that Murdoc from the band Gorillaz?” She asked with a tilt of her head.

With that Murdoc handed over his passport and ticket to the lady before saying, “Uh, yes, I am, are you a fan by any chance?” Were there any other handsome green-tinted men around? Well maybe if people considered Ace handsome. If she was one of the ones that chatted with him while he was in prison, then he might be in luck.

She smiled widely in response and took his things that he held out to her. “Oh my goodness gracious! I haven’t met anyone famous before! I just started about two months ago,” She seemed to have ignored Murdoc’s question. She looked over to the other security line and said, “Oi! Megan lookie over here! It’s that guy from that band!”

At this point 2D seemed to think it was a great idea to make his presence known as well. He took a few steps so that he was next to Murdoc and gave the girl a smile. “I’m in Gorillaz too!” He announced loud enough so she’d hear. Meeting fans was one of his favorite things about being in Gorillaz, they were always so nice the singer. Murdoc used to tell him it was only because he was pretty, and they didn’t really like him for who he was. 2D was half-wondering if Murdoc would say the same thing right now if he asked about it. 

“Yes, you are, I recognize you too!” The girl was practically running in place. It was obvious how excited she was. She didn’t seem like a hardcore fan. 2D can appreciate the enthusiasm despite that.

Another girl showed up next to the security guard, the one probably named ‘Megan’. After she looked the two up and down she smiled widely as well, “Holy cow, look at that you’re right! Can we have your autographs?”

Despite the girls being elated at seeing them, Murdoc was still not calming down. They haven’t looked at his passport yet and now there’s two of them. He nodded and picked up a pen that was on the counter. The one girl who was unnamed looked around to find something for him to write on before settling on an envelope that she found behind the counter. Megan just held out her shirt below her uniform. Murdoc signed both before handing the pen over to 2D who happily signed as well. It wasn’t the prettiest signature the bassist has ever done, but it’ll have to do.

After the two looked at their autographs, Megan decided she was satisfied and went back to her line after telling the bandmembers a quick goodbye. Usually, Murdoc would be more appreciative to see his fans, but right now he isn’t in the greatest mood. 

Putting on her work voice, the security guard continued what she was supposed to be doing and said, “Alright now that that’s done, please take off your shoes and put them in the bin along with any metal items on your person.”

He obeyed her request and took off his boots. Then he took off his upside-down cross necklace and his belt and put those in the bin with his shoes. Murdoc looked up to see the girl looking at his ticket. She put the down next to his passport, deeming it real and picked up his passport. “Are you bringing a laptop or any other electronics with you today?” She asked without looking at him. All of that is currently on the boat except a phone; he’s planning on getting a new phone when he gets to the United States. 

“No, not today, love,” He replied as smoothly as he could with his voice going deeper. The ladies usually liked it when he used ‘love’ in a sentence so maybe that will help his case here. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be in prison or something?” She asked and put his passport down. She wasn’t affected by his flirting at all.

Murdoc knew that the color must have drained from his face. He coughed and tried to do some damage control, “Um well about that-“

“It was just a publicity stunt, sorry. Don’t tell no one!” 2D said from behind Murdoc. He’s surprised with himself how quick he came up with that. Usually his brain has trouble working that fast, so the singer was very proud of head today.

She nodded. “Gotcha, sorry to have made you ruin the magic like that, I won’t tell anyone. Just to make sure though I got to make sure he isn’t on the no-fly list since you’re going to the US,” She said and held up the ‘ok’ sign with her hand. “It’s embarrassing to have to do that to a celebrity, but it’s my job.”

Murdoc would have been really proud of 2D in that moment if he wasn’t now terrified. He looked back at the singer who in turn gave him a nervous smile and mouthed, “It’ll be okay”. Murdoc can tell he’s full of bullshit. What the hell is he going to do now?

“Alright everything looks good, walk through the metal detector please,” She said and handed Murdoc his passport and ticket. 

Satan is real, and he must love Murdoc to death. Still shaking a little bit, Murdoc stepped through the metal detector with no problems. He couldn’t contain his smile while he put his shoes back on. 2D did went through the same process, however, looking much less anxious than Murdoc had and more relieved. He doesn’t understand why 2D still gives a shit about him. The Satanist is a horrible person and he understands that, but he isn’t sure if 2D completely understands that. 

After that mess was settled they finally made it to their seats on the plane. They will be arriving to the United States in approximately eight hours. The security guard even knew that Murdoc was supposed to be in jail and he still got through. Murdoc sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. The plane took off about 15 minutes ago and Murdoc is still coming down from his adrenaline high. Who needs cocaine when he’s got the fear of going back to jail? 

“I told you it would be alright!” 2D said from his spot next to the window. Murdoc can hear the smirk in his voice. 

Murdoc glanced up to the singer through his fingers, “Don’t give me that rubbish. I know that you didn’t believe it when you said that.”

2D looked away for a second. He was never that good at lying. “Well would you have rather I said somethin’ like, ‘Murdoc, they’re onto us, we’re screwed’?” He imitated in a slightly higher pitch. 

“Well no. That would have definitely given us away.” Murdoc sat back up and rested his back against the seat. “You still look ridiculous by the way,” he said pointing to the singer’s shirt. 

“Why don’t you like my shirt? Do you not like London?” 2D asked and put his head on his hand. His elbow was against the window. 

Looking past the singer and out the window, the bassist replied with, “I do like London, but I don’t ‘heart’-“ He did imaginary quotes with his hands, “London. I also don’t like it enough to wear a t-shirt expressing my love for it.”

2D shrugged and smiled, “Well I have lots of love to give.”

Too much if you ask Murdoc.

“Where do you want to go when we’re in America?” The taller man asked.

Groaning because he still needed to talk to 2D, Murdoc said, “Wherever the road takes us.”

“That’s kind of borin’, isn’t it? We should go and be proper tourists for once, we never go sightsee when we’re on tour,” 2D sat up and folded his hands in his lap. He didn’t know why Murdoc never let them experience the places that they went to visit. Sometimes in the middle of the night Noodle would sneak out of their hotel and go explore, but that was about it when it came to the band’s experience with tourism.

“I’m currently hiding from the police, 2D, I can’t exactly go take selfies at every landmark we come across,” Murdoc leaned over to say quietly so only 2D would hear.

The singer smiled, “Yes you can; you just can’t post them online is all. Come on, you need to have at least one place that you want to go see.” 2D is still in charge after all, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. If he says he wants to travel and have a good time doing it, then they will do just that.

The Satanist sighed with annoyance and crossed his arms, “If I tell you a place I want to bloody go to will you let me take a nap or something?”

Smiling wider at this answer he nodded in response.

“The Great Wall of China.”

“In the United States, Muds.”

“The place with all the aliens then.”

“Area 51?”

Murdoc gave 2D a disgusted look, “No you…! Americans can’t even go in there, what makes you think that we can?”

2D crossed his arms now as well, “That’s the place with the aliens!”

“Roswell was the one I was talking about. The alien place we can actually go to.” The Satanist leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes. “Happy now?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” The taller man grumbled and looked out the window.

Throughout the long flight 2D had been slept on for about four hours. He’s proud of himself for being able to not wake Murdoc during that entire time. Maybe he should have woke the shorter man up after about two hours because when he did wake up he was in a bad mood. The bassist hardly acted on his foul mood compared to how he did a year ago. The most he did was give 2D dirty looks, but that might have been because of his shirt again. 

Towards the last half of their flight together, the two started watching a movie on the small screen in front of them. The description said it was about a couple going through a rough patch and then they fall in love again later after going on various adventures and learning new things about themselves and each other. It was terribly boring.

Eventually, they made it back on land. Their plane landed in New York City which was perfect because that is also where the boat will be docking in about ten days. These next few days they’ll need to be careful and make sure not to alert others that Murdoc isn’t supposed to be out with the public. Currently, 2D is doing a terrible job of this because the combination of his bright blue hair and his obnoxious shirt drew a lot of attention at the American airport. They’ve signed 12 autographs almost as soon as they exited the plane. 2D claimed that they would have been more hidden if Murdoc was also ‘disguised’ and if 2D hadn’t lost his hat in the ocean. 

After 2D found them a pleasant hotel to stay in the two grabbed their luggage and took a taxi there. The singer doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to getting on a plane at 4:00 PM in London and then arriving in the US at 7:00 PM. It’s like the last eight hours were just three hours that went by really slowly. Time is really weird. 

Currently the duo was in an elevator at their hotel. Their room was on the 2nd floor. The both of them were more than ready to just call it a night even though the sun is still out. In England it would be about midnight.

Murdoc stretched and leaned his back against the wall across from the door. “Should we get drunk tonight?” He asked casually.

“Didn’t we do that last night?” The singer asked while he fiddled with the zipper on his suitcase idly.

“Yeah, but that’s never stopped me before,” The Satanist replied and then continued with, “Didn’t you have fun last night?”

“Well yes, I think so, but we really didn’t do anythin’ did we? We just kind of sat on your couch… and then cuddled on your couch,” 2D flicked his eyes between Murdoc and the numbers on the elevator. He wonders if Murdoc can tell where he’s looking. 

The Satanist frowned deeper and replied with, “You passed out on me, I wouldn’t consider that cuddling. It’s usually a two-way street.”

The singer settled his eyes on Murdoc, “What about spoonin’ though?”

“I’ll be honest here, Dents, I’ve heard of it, but I’m not entirely sure what spooning is,” He admitted and reached down to grab for a cigarette in his suitcase. 

Now he was watching Murdoc’s hands instead of his face. “It’s like where one person is layin’ down, like you do when you have a cuddle, and one person is called the big spoon and the other is the little spoon.”

“Sounds childish.” He lit his cigarette and put the pack and lighter back into his suitcase. 

“Keep your comments ‘till I’m done. Okay so the big spoon wraps their arms around the little spoon’s back while the little spoon faces away from the big spoon.” 2D finished and soon after the elevator dinged.

Murdoc grabbed his suitcase and followed 2D to their room. “So only one person is doing all the work?” He said it more like a statement rather than a question.

“I guess so if ‘all the work’ is just layin’ there with your arms out.” The taller man replied and put their keycard in the door. “I don’t think you’re allowed to smoke in here.”

“Last time I checked I smoke whenever I want to,” Murdoc replied and blew a puff of smoke away from 2D.

The taller man pushed open the door and went inside, “Well if they yell at us then you’re puttin’ it out.”

Murdoc waved him off and closed the door behind them. 

They both started putting their things away into their shared dresser. They’ve booked the room for ten days, so they might as well get comfortable. Hopefully they won’t have to switch hotels before their time is up. If they lay low like Murdoc wants to then they should be able to pass by unnoticed. The bassist knows though that with 2D here it might not be that simple. He would never ask the singer to leave despite that. He hates that he wants him here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading until the end! Remember comments are always appreciated (I'd happily take those over money), but I still love you if you're too shy to comment as well.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a flashback to 1997 and we finally start understanding Murdoc's thought process (In this fic at least).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a disclaimer for this chapter: The entirety of the flashback is in Murdoc's perspective. These are not my thoughts or feelings about the disabled.

September 3rd, 1997

Murdoc had just arrived back to his house after a disappointing band practice. He can already tell that this one won’t take off either. Perhaps he should just put this band out of its misery before they can embarrass themselves on stage. He can’t even remember the name of this one. It was probably something clever, Murdoc was great at band names.

Looking at the clock above his television he can see that it’s almost four o’clock PM. He came back just in time for his punishment. Stuart’s clown of a father will be here any minute to drop off his vegetable. On Mondays and Fridays Murdoc ‘takes care’ of Stuart for three hours starting at four. On Wednesdays and Saturdays, he’s with Stuart for two hours. On the other days in the week he’s picking up rubbish on the side of motorways. Today happened to be Friday.

Does he regret driving his car through that shop-front? Absolutely, he didn’t even get a single keyboard out of it. 

Just as Murdoc was putting up his coat there was a firm knock as his door. Sighing in annoyance, Murdoc reached over and opened the door, not bothering to look and see who it was, preferring to finish putting his things away. 

“Good evenin’, Mr. Niccals,” Stuart’s father said from behind Murdoc’s back. He could also hear the man’s footsteps slowly go past him and into the living room. The bassist knew from the sound of the older man’s footsteps that he was carrying Stuart to his couch.

Finally turning around, Murdoc looked at the man in his living room. Stuart’s dad didn’t seem to be having a good day today as usual. Murdoc doesn’t recall him looking well since he’s met him less than a month ago. Most definitely it was his doing that made the man look like an overworked construction man. The older man laid his son down on the couch with great care. Murdoc doesn’t understand why, Stuart was practically a lifeless doll.

“Hello,” The Satanist responded with a bad taste in his mouth. Talking to the boy’s parents always made him feel like he had heartburn. 

Stuart’s father never looked Murdoc in the eye and today was no exception. Murdoc can tell that the older man didn’t want Stuart to be in Murdoc’s care. No one understands the reasoning behind the judge’s ruling that Murdoc should take care of Stuart Pot for ten hours each week. Murdoc didn’t want that, and Stuart’s parents didn’t want that either. 

Brushing the blue hair out of his son’s face, Stuart’s father said, “He’s already eaten so you don’t need to worry about that. Just make sure that he’s comfortable and I’ll be back at seven.” It’s obvious how much the man loves Stuart. The man has cried in the courthouse and he’s cried a few times when dropping Stuart off here. What a sensitive man. Murdoc’s father wouldn’t give two shits if Murdoc was suddenly a vegetable. He’d probably throw him in an alley somewhere and forget about him.

Murdoc didn’t say anything in response to what the man said, because he doesn’t need to. He’s heard the same thing every other day.

The older man made a sound between a sigh and a groan and took a few steps away from the couch and in front of Murdoc. He still wouldn’t look at Murdoc, but it was obvious he wanted to say something to the Satanist. 

He crossed his arms and raised his eyebrow, waiting for the man to make a move. However, nothing happened, and Stuarts dad left the house without another word. Typical, the man seems like he’d rather cry than get into a fight.

The door slammed behind Murdoc and now he was left alone with his nonresponsive company. 

Taking care of Stuart wasn’t difficult like taking care of a child was. The catatonic man didn’t do anything other than breathe and piss himself. Sometimes Murdoc had to change his adult diapers, but it was less difficult than Murdoc expected it to be. It also wasn’t as disgusting as Murdoc thought it would be either. It could have been worse. However, he has no idea how to use Stuart’s feeding tube and would probably stab him in the intestines or something along those lines if he tried to feed him. Mr. Tusspot seems to have the same fear which is probably why they feed Stuart before dropping him off.

Because taking care of Stuart wasn’t difficult, Murdoc should probably complain much less than he does. Just today he was telling his new bandmates that Stuart was a pain in the ass and that no woman would want to shag a man who’s in charge of some lifeless 20-year-old. Also, he frequently says that Stuart is ruining his life despite only seeing him ten hours a week. It’s overexaggerated but Murdoc likes the sympathy that comes from it.

Murdoc refuses to feel guilty for what had happened. Maybe it’s only because he hasn’t fully processed it yet. He ruined this kid’s life and basically killed him. His parents even had the choice to just let him die but refused. It’s the worst hell Murdoc can think of, paralyzed, can’t speak, and unable to die. He wonders is Stuart wants to die.

Stopping that train of thought, the Satanist moved to sit on the couch with Stuart. First, he lifted the still man’s legs and sat himself on the couch and then placed Stuart’s legs on top of his lap. Feeling guilty was for people who are allowed to feel.

The bassist pressed the ‘on’ button on his television’s remote that was resting on the arm of his couch. MTV was the channel he had on last so that was what was on now. Murdoc didn’t mind, he loved hearing what new musicians were doing despite them all being mindless and rubbish. 

He kind of wants to get drunk, but he already sat down. Humming in distaste Murdoc looked at the vegetable’s face. Stuart’s black eye was creepy as hell and very cool to Murdoc. If Stuart was alive people would be all over how unique his blood-filled eye was. 

“Can you go get me a beer, Stu?” Murdoc chuckled to himself at his own joke. 

Of course, Stuart cannot respond. The Satanist wonders what the still man’s personality was like before he became like this. His parents probably talked about that stuff in court, but Murdoc wasn’t listening to all that then. 

“If you’re going to be in my house every other day then you better learn how to do something other than just lying there looking stupid,” He said with a scowl at the other man as it that would intimidate him. After a moment Murdoc straightened his frown before taking off the vegetable’s shoes, “I don’t know why they bother putting trainers on you, not like you’re walking around a whole lot.”

After the shoes were off Murdoc threw them onto the floor haphazardly. Stuart couldn’t tell him anything, but the bassist assumed that he’d be more comfortable with his shoes off. Also, he wouldn’t mind annoying the catatonic man’s father when he comes back, it’d be a plus certainly. Murdoc doesn’t have much of a reason to hate Stuart’s father other than he was involved in creating Stuart. If the vegetable were never born Murdoc wouldn’t be doing community service. 

“I hate you, Stuart,” He said with no real hatred evident in his voice.

Slowly Stuart’s pupil on his ‘good eye’ moved to look Murdoc in his eyes. Murdoc almost shit himself at that. He hasn’t seen the vegetable’s eyes move before. Can he see him right now? 

“Stuart?” Murdoc asked with a hint of confusion on his face. He was absentmindedly gripping Stuart’s leg.

Of course, the man didn’t say anything back. He was still looking at Murdoc, just watching him. 

“You still in there Stu?” He asked knowing that he wouldn’t get an answer. 

The only thing Stuart did was blink. The bassist felt peculiar now that the guy who he presumed was dead was looking at him. To Murdoc, Stuart was just an object; something that was just placed into his life because he did a stupid thing, that was until right now. It was like Stuart was staring right into his soul with his eye that had a visual pupil still on it. He doesn’t like it, Stuart isn’t supposed to make him feel things.

Murdoc began rubbing the man’s leg and said, “I bet its hell being you right now, huh? If I was a vegetable I’d want my folks to put me down. Too bad yours are cruel enough to have you stick around.” Stuart could only watch Murdoc as he spoke. Having someone who can’t judge him when he talks isn’t so bad. He bit his lip for a moment before continuing, “Maybe not as cruel as my joke of a family, but pretty sodding close. They’re forcing you to suffer this sad life because they don’t want to let you go. Very selfish of them if you ask me.”

Stuart continued to watch Murdoc. The bassist wasn’t sure if the vegetable can think or if he was even comprehending what he was saying. He felt the need to talk to him though now that the illusion was there, it looked like Stuart was paying attention.

“I bet you’d be angry with me if you could be. I’m the one that made you like this… I’m not sorry about it either, you shouldn’t have been standing there.” Murdoc immediately hated himself more for saying shit like that. If he doesn’t want to feel guilty then maybe he should stop doing things that makes him feel guilty. Telling Stuart that it’s his fault he’s a vegetable was one of those things. Stuart can’t even fight back.

“Alright I’ll be honest… I’m a little bit sorry for giving you that dent in your head. I’d want you to be sorry if it was the other way around.” He can clear his conscience freely here. Stuart can’t say anything or make him feel like a coward or a pansy like other people can. “I’m sorry that I’m fucked up, Stu. I just about killed you and I’m trying to pretend that it didn’t happen, but I can’t just pretend that I didn’t kill someone. But if I… if I tell people that I feel something I get scared that they’ll exploit that. It’s happened before, but you can’t do that. You’re probably the only person in the entire world that I can talk to without bloody worrying about everything.”

It was like Murdoc was talking to somebody who doesn’t speak his language. Stuart stared at him with no indication for whether he was taking in the Satanist’s words or not. Unlike with ‘alive’ people he doesn’t feel the fear of being judged or manipulated. He also doesn’t feel the overwhelming self-hatred for showing weakness either, which is odd because he usually feels like that even when he’s alone. Usually he’s only comfortable like this when he’s on the verge of passing out drunk.

“You’re a good listener I’ll give you that.”

September 2018

Murdoc has been thinking about those times often as of late. When 2D was normally called Stuart and he was as still as someone in a coffin. Those days were very different compared to today. He doesn’t talk to 2D like he did with Stuart. The only time he has ever let down his guard about his emotions were with Stuart back in 1997. Now 2D is trying to get Murdoc to do the same thing without knowing that Murdoc had already told him about all his past issues. 

Turning onto his side, Murdoc saw 2D still awake in his own bed and reading something on his phone. The LED screen was lighting the singer’s face much more prominently than the moonlight shining through the window. He can’t believe he could have killed the man, arguably the most important man in his life. He treated Stuart like he was already dead.

2D heard Murdoc moving. He thought that the bassist was asleep by now; he hasn’t moved in a long time. They both agreed to stay in for the night since they were very tired from their long flight. Perhaps Murdoc was having trouble sleeping because he took a four-hour long nap on the plane. 

Feeling the other man’s eyes on him, 2D turned his phone off and turned his head to meet the Satanist’s gaze. “Can’t sleep?” He asked.

Murdoc instead of replying asked, “Can I ask you that question now?” He didn’t even think that he’d be the one to continue their little game that 2D made, he thought it was stupid. However, the thoughts from earlier are nagging him to find out what he wants to know.

“What question?” He doesn’t remember what Murdoc was talking about, he probably should. His head must be having one of its usual issues again.

The bassist stood up without a word and walked around to the singer’s bed. He then sat on the edge of the bed like he would when Noodle used to have trouble sleeping. Knowing that he wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon, Murdoc for once felt motivated to have a conversation with his bandmate. “Remember when you made me answer those questions in the garage? I didn’t get to ask you the last one and I said I’d ask you later,” he said annoyed. 

2D sat up, now very interested in this conversation. He was a bit nervous when he saw Murdoc coming over here, but now all of that has drained away. Maybe the bassist actually wants to get better for once. He scooted over to make room for the man who was now on his bed. Murdoc sat further up after he did so without a ‘thank you’, but 2D wasn’t expecting one anyways. “I remember now, Muds. What’s your question?”

Murdoc’s mouth was very dry all of a sudden. A few shots of rum would fix that quickly, but they didn’t make a stop for alcohol before coming to the hotel so his need for alcohol would not be met tonight. 2D was waiting now, so he couldn’t back out. He shouldn’t be as timid as he is now to ask the other man a simple question.

“You alright?” 2D asked after Murdoc wasn’t answering. It was obvious that the shorter man was hesitant for some reason unknown to the singer. “I can forget that you said anythin’ if you want me to, no big deal,” He said as a means to comfort Murdoc.

“Shut up!” He snapped without thinking. Quickly getting himself back together, Murdoc finished with, “…Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” He knew it was a bad idea, but he thought this might be a subtle way to offer his trust to the Satanist, “Want to lay down with me?” After seeing the mixture of question and disgust on Murdoc’s face he tried to explain himself, “You don’t have to! But you came over here, so you might as well get comfortable. I won’t mind at all, like I won’t jump or anything if you accidentally touch me-” He didn’t know that for sure,”-And I’ll try to not touch you or whatever. It’ll kind of be like we’re havin’ a sleepover, just two-“

“Satan! 2D, do you know how hard it is to not tell you to shut up all the damned time? Quit rambling so much; if I hadn’t spent 20 years with you then I’d have no bloody idea what you’re saying,” While Murdoc was scolding 2D he scooted over some more and threw the covers over himself. Him speaking made the movements less awkward as the taller man was now focused on his words. “You can say what you mean in probably half as many words that spill out of your mouth. Think about what you want to say before you speak for once.”

2D didn’t look impressed with Murdoc’s tantrum. “You think you’re smart, huh Murdoc? You just did the same thing as me while you were lecturin’ me about what I was doin’.” 

Murdoc almost growled at the other man before he stopped himself, “I am smart! I was giving you an example of how annoying it is, and now you know.” He just came up with that excuse, so yes, he was pretty smart. It’s awful when 2D catches on to what he says too quickly. It makes Murdoc want to get up again and go back to his bed, but he won’t. That would be showing 2D weakness.

“Whatever you say. If you’re not gonna ask me a question can I ask you one?” The singer thought it would probably be a wise idea to change the subject before they start arguing. 

“Fine then, get on with it.” Crossing his arms, Murdoc let himself fall back onto the bed, his necklace falling back on his chest as he did so. 

The taller man leaned back as well, but more gently. “Okay then, how did you actually get out of prison?” 2D was wondering this since he found Murdoc.

He had to bite his tongue to keep himself from yelling at 2D for not helping him. Instead he said, “Well my fans adore me and did what I asked of them. The one plan that failed involved the sewer system under the prison; I almost drowned in literal shit. The plan after that one however, worked like a charm. Hacked the whole security system through just text.” He smiled at the thought of how clever it all was.

“You almost drowned in shit? Why didn’t you just do the last plan first?” Surely that would have been a better idea. Like 2D, Murdoc didn’t always come up with the best way to deal with things.

Murdoc stopped smiling at that. Why didn’t he just go with the easiest plan first? “Well… because that wouldn’t be as impressive. You know, like in the movies. Maybe if you were there you could have had a say in the plans!”

2D frowned himself and replied with, “I’m sure that if I was in jail with you, you wouldn’t let me have a say in anythin’. You’d probably sell me off for some cheap alcohol in a week.” It was a harsh accusation, but he firmly believed that it might have gone like that.

This isn’t where Murdoc wanted this late-night bonding session to go. It’s more like they’re a married couple going through a divorce than two mates at a sleepover. He’s not supposed to be reminded of his actions again. He can’t apologize for who he is while 2D is moving, thinking, and talking to him. He just can’t handle it. He doesn’t like the feeling of guilt, but he can’t get rid of it until he apologizes. It’s just another thing he needs to live with. 

Noticing the silence, 2D turned his head and looked at Murdoc. He didn’t like the terror that was on the other man’s face. “Hey, hey, Murdoc I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accused you of doin’ that to me. I just let my feelin’s get the best of me… it happens sometimes.”

How is it so easy for 2D to apologize, but excruciating for him? Sure, he can say sorry after he let an insult slip through, but he can’t even begin to apologize for all of the bullshit he put the singer through. He just tried to pretend that he didn’t care or that those things never happened, but it’s like how it was with the Stuart who was in a coma. He can’t just forget about killing someone. He can’t just forget about ruining someone’s life. He can’t just forget about treating someone like his father treated him.

“Stuart, do you remember anything from when you were in a coma?” Murdoc asked after not being able to take his own thoughts anymore. That was what he was going to originally ask 2D.

The suddenness of the question caught 2D off guard along with the unexpected use of his old name. Murdoc only calls him Stuart when 2D needs to be brought back to reality. He bit his lip in thought. The simple answer would be ‘kind of’. He can remember some blurry images and loose conversations that he was in no way a part of. Most of the time he was in a coma was long forgotten from his mind. Sometimes on a rare occasion he dreams of those times, but he doesn’t know if they’re real memories or just dreams. Why did Murdoc want to know that anyways? 

After a bit of thinking of what he wanted to say, 2D finally said, “Um… Sort of. But nothin’ is really clear. Like I know my eyes wouldn’t focus all the way, probably because they were uneven if that makes sense.” He paused to think of how he wanted to put his next words. “Sometimes I could hear really well and other times it sounded like I was underwater or under a thick blanket. I think I forgot most of what happened either immediately or when I flew through the windscreen… I don’t know which one though because I forgot that part too.”

Murdoc nodded when 2D was done, he didn’t know why though, he wasn’t agreeing to anything. He’s disappointed that 2D forgot about him practically spilling his heart out every so often, but also extremely relieved. He’s able to keep his pride for now. He should have known that the singer forgot about that stuff. 

“Why’d you want to know that anyway?” The taller man asked. 

The Satanist put his arms behind his head. “Just curious is all.”

The two bandmembers looked at the ceiling in silence after that for a moment. 2D was comfortable despite their earlier conversation. He was always calm in these moments when he was in bed in the dark and quiet; it helped him calm down and think about what happened earlier in the day. Having Murdoc with him surprisingly didn’t affect that calm.

Murdoc was uncomfortable with the quiet. It made him feel like 2D was thinking about how terrible he is at everything. To get rid of some of that quiet Murdoc asked, “Have you forgiven me for hitting you with that car?” It wasn’t a safe question, but Murdoc wanted an answer to that as well. 

That was another tough question for the singer. 2D never saw the car accident as a terrible thing up until recently. Before when they released their first album, the singer saw what is now known as ‘D-Day’ to be what saved his life. He used to feel useless and bored all the time until he became 2D. When he stopped being Stuart he felt like he started living for the very first time. Now he does still feel this way up to a point, but he also understands that getting into a car accident twice isn’t something that should be so easily forgiven. In the end 2D answered with, “You never said sorry for hittin’ me with your car, Murdoc.”

“Uh…” Murdoc knew he could not say that he actually had apologized before without explaining to the singer when he did. Even that is difficult for the bassist. He would basically be apologizing again. He needs to do this, he’s got to stop feeling sorry for himself all the time and just apologize for once for being an asshole. His band hates him for who he is, and he can’t bring himself to change.

The taller man knows that the bassist gets flustered when topics like this are brought up. Wanting to not work up Murdoc any more, 2D said, “It’s alright though, you don’t have to right now. It would be nice… but don’t apologize if you’re forcin’ yourself to.”

“Yeah okay. Thanks, 2D.” For some odd reason Murdoc has never felt as weak as he does right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading once again! I love all of you individually for supporting me and my writing! Let me know what you think in the comments my dears!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first three days of Murdoc and 2D waiting in New York for the Winnebago to arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Howdy everyone! Sorry for the long wait, but I do actually have a good excuse. I recently moved to a new house and didn't have my computer for a while. Let me know what you think of this pretty big chapter. I love hearing what you think!

**Day one:**

It was around 9:00 AM and 2D was already bored of this hotel room.

The room that they were staying in is small compared to most hotel rooms that they have rented before. The two beds took up most of the space in the room with just an arm’s length of space between each bed. The beds themselves were larger than they needed to be, they looked to be queen-sized. The sheets on the beds matched the ugly dull red and orange striped curtains. The hotel’s interior designer must have been on something when working here. 

However, it was nice that the curtains completely blacked out the light from outside. Under the large window that the curtains were covering there is a small circular table with two chairs across from each other. On the table was a little white vase with orange roses sticking out of the top of the vase in every direction. Other than the hideous sheets and curtains the flowers were the only things that immediately stuck out in the room. The roses are real instead of plastic, 2D wonders who put them here. That would be a lot of flowers if they were in every room.

Other than those things there is a television on top of the dresser. The dresser was in front of the beds and the TV was turned off. Murdoc and 2D had put some of their clothes in the dresser, but most of them are still in their suitcases since Murdoc decided he wanted to sleep instead. There was also a counter beside the door with some scattered papers from the hotel on it. The papers looked to be numbers to call and flyers for different attractions around the city.

Currently the room was being lit by a single desk lamp that was on the end table between the two beds. Because of the curtains there is no sunlight coming in through the window despite it being about nine o’clock in the morning. The two band members have been up for a little over an hour now. 

The only reason Murdoc is awake right now is because of the jetlag. For reasons unknown to 2D he is currently lying face-down on the floor between the two beds. 2D and the rest of Gorillaz arrived in London a few days ago so he wasn’t used to the English time zone yet. He was perfectly fine getting up at eight AM here on the American east coast. 

2D was in his bed trying to do a word search puzzle that he found in the drawer on their shared end table. He’s not finding a lot of the words that the puzzle wants him to find, but he is finding other words like ‘a’, ‘as’, ‘he’, and ‘I’. 

He was getting a bit hungry. Soon he should probably go and see if the hotel is serving breakfast somewhere. It’s a semi-decent hotel so there should be food. 

Murdoc moaned from his place on the floor but did not move or say anything else.

The singer peeked over his book to the floor beside his bed where Murdoc was currently at. Murdoc was flat against the floor with his hair covering his head like a blanket. His hair was getting a bit long, it was almost touching his shoulders when he’s upright. He probably hasn’t had a haircut while he was in prison. 2D kind of liked how long Murdoc’s hair has gotten. It really looks like he could have been in The Beatles now. Murdoc wasn’t wearing a shirt this morning which isn’t surprising because he just woke up. He was also wearing his old pair of black skinny jeans and that is surprising because he can still fit into them.

After a little bit of staring 2D asked, “Are you alright, Murdoc?”

“Probably. I’m just trying to put together our plan for when the old Winnebago arrives,” Murdoc answered into the carpet.

“Does bein’ on the floor help with that?” 2D closed the puzzle book and placed it on top of the end table. He was now fully paying attention to Murdoc. 

The singer could see the Satanist do a strained nodding motion with his head. “Less sensations to pay attention to when you’re face down like this. Makes sense, trust me I have a sodding PhD.” Murdoc lifted his arm and moved his hand with his words as he talked. It seemed that he was just assuming that 2D was watching him and he was right. 

“Alright then… Couldn’t you just lay down on the bed?” 

There was a bit of a pause before Murdoc spoke again. “Yes. Yes, I could, but I’m not.”

2D said, “No you are not.” He stretched before he swung his legs over the bed and stood up. He was getting tired of just lying there. 

From the corner of his eye 2D could see Murdoc look over his shoulder at him. He probably was wondering what 2D was doing. Before he could ask the singer decided to answer, “I’m goin’ to open the curtains and let some sun in. I saw on the weather app that it’s supposed to be a lovely day today.”

Murdoc shoved his face back onto the floor and said, “Could you not do that? The sun hurts my eyes.”

Taking his time, 2D stepped over Murdoc and walked to the window. He successfully made it there without tripping over the bassist and his own clumsy feet. “You’re not even lookin’ at the window,” He said before grabbing the curtain’s edges with both hands and threw them open. 

The taller man was pleasantly surprised when he couldn’t see the sun at all, it was being covered by leaves. He audibly ‘ooh’d’ at the sight of a very large tree right in front of the window. The only part of outside that he could see was bits of blue sky peeking through the leaves. The sun hitting the tree casted a warm light-green glow on the table in front of him. Looking a little closer 2D noticed that there was red fruit dangling on the branches between the leaves. He reached out to grab one without thinking but his hand thunked against the window. “Murdoc, there’s an apple tree outside of our window!” He said cheerfully towards the floor. He can’t see Murdoc right now who was still lying between the beds.

Grunting, the bassist sat up and squinted towards 2D and the window. “What kind of a bloody view is this? First the horrendous drapes and the dirty carpet, now there’s a sodding tree plastered against the window! This place will definitely be getting a one-star review on Yelp from me.” Murdoc mumbled angrily and grabbed the side of the bed to hoist himself up. 

Once the Satanist was fully stood 2D said, “You had your face on the carpet. Why did you do that if it was dirty?” The singer gave Murdoc a concerned look.

“I already told you why.” Murdoc shambled over to where 2D was standing. 

“You could have just laid on the bed.” 2D started playing with his fingers. He would like to have a cigarette about now. 

“I didn’t want to lay on the bed.”

“You’d rather lay on a dirty carpet than a cozy bed?”

“I don’t know I just didn’t want to okay?!” Murdoc yelled now visibly agitated.

“Don’t yell at me!”

Murdoc looked at him with an eyebrow raised, “I’m not yelling I’m just talking loudly.”

“That’s what yellin’ is.” 2D was now agitated as well.

“No, it isn’t! It’s more like shouting, not yelling.” Murdoc looked at 2D’s face and relaxed his own face once again. “Fine whatever,” He now spoke with his usual volume. 

The two looked at each other in silence for a moment before Murdoc grumbled something 2D didn’t hear and sat on his bed. The singer kept looking at him a little longer until Murdoc laid down and turned on his side away from 2D.

The taller man turned his attention back to the window. The outside, even with the apple tree covering it, seemed more bright and welcoming than this room at least at the moment. 2D hasn’t comfortably been able to walk around in a few days. He’d love to go explore New York without having to worry about concerts later or his bandmates worrying about him.

Pausing that thought he looked over his shoulder to see Murdoc grabbing for the puzzle book he found. Well he’d only have one bandmate worrying about him this time. That is… If he would be actually worried about him. 2D bit his lip and looked back to the window. He knows Murdoc cares at least somewhat about him. The proof for that was the dock incident. The thought that kept nagging at 2D was that Murdoc was only using him for producing music. He believes that to be true.

What he believes to be true as well is that Murdoc has truly cared about him at one point in their lives, when Gorillaz was only composed of Murdoc and 2D. As soon as their first album started getting attention Murdoc went through a kind of evolution and not the helpful type like in nature. 

The first sign of Murdoc changing was when he forgot about 2D in a way, but he ignored the others as well. Murdoc bought his Winnebago and decided he wanted to live there in their carpark at Kong Studios despite having his own room in the building. The Winnebago was the first thing he bought with the album money. The Satanist would rarely come into Kong studios during the beginning of their success, and when he did he wouldn’t acknowledge anyone, especially 2D. He would only communicate during practice and would ignore any suggestions that the singer had. It had hurt 2D at the time because they stopped hanging out together like they had used to, but he blamed it on everyone still trying to process the success they had achieved. He completely forgot about the incident with Paula when Murdoc started ignoring him. He really shouldn’t forget about Murdoc betraying him like that. He should have still been upset, but he isn’t anymore.

The next things that came were the insults and personal attacks. It was a gradual change between silence and unending insults. It started with an off-hand comment about how stupid he was here and some mocking about his personal interests there. 2D was excited when this was first happening because Murdoc was finally talking to him again. Eventually every time Murdoc laid eyes on 2D he had to say something nasty about him like he was addicted each negative word that left his mouth. Russel would defend him sometimes or laugh with them like it was a playful joke. 2D knew by then when Murdoc was just joking around, and those insults were not meant to be jokes. Noodle just watched them interact when she was in the same room as the two, unable to understand why everyone was yelling at each other. For some reason, despite how much the insults ate at 2D, he liked it more than the silence.

Then when 2D stopped caring about the verbal attacks, Murdoc moved to more physical attacks. Unlike last time though, the change was sudden. The singer doesn’t remember a lot of things well, but the first time Murdoc attacked him he remembers clearly. It started with the usual string of insults about how moronic he was and 2D just continued watching the TV. The insults didn’t hurt anymore. Murdoc didn’t like that he didn’t get a reaction at that moment and threw a lamp at him. That caused 2D to get a cut just above his eyebrow and he needed four stitches. 

After that Murdoc didn’t say sorry, but he did ignore him for a few days before buying him a new Casio. After that incident Murdoc just slapped him around and threw less damage-causing objects. That was also when Russel stopped finding Murdoc’s antics funny and more of a problem. Though Murdoc hasn’t physically hurt him since they all left Plastic Beach. During their Humanz album 2D would always expect a hit, but it never happened.

After they started working on their second album, Murdoc mellowed out a little. There was still the violence and insults, but Murdoc had gotten lazy with them. The bassist was much more focused on making music and finding collaborators than bothering 2D. This was when the singer stopped caring again and just let it happen. If he pretended like the insults were more playful like before 2D could convince himself that Murdoc was still his friend. 

He stopped his mental timeline there before he could get to their next album. After all of that why would Murdoc just suddenly want to go to how they acted back in 1998? The only conclusion 2D can come up with is that he doesn’t, he just wants his help to get rid of his criminal record. 

Sighing to himself, 2D turned away from the window and headed towards the door. He needs to get out for a little bit and redirect his thoughts like he learned in counseling. Also, he still wants that cigarette he’s been craving. 

As he was turning the handle he heard Murdoc from behind him say, “Where are you going, Dents?” 

2D turned back around to see Murdoc watching him with his head resting on his hand. “Goin’ out for a smoke, want to come with me?”

Murdoc eyed him up and down before saying, “Nah, mate, maybe later. Don’t stay out in plain sight too long though, don’t want anyone recognizing you.”

2D smiled and opened the door. “I wouldn’t be recognized if I still had my hat. And I will be out for a little while. I want to go explore for a bit.”

That caused Murdoc to sit up. He looked bothered about what 2D said and put the puzzle book back onto the end table. “Well you can’t go explore out there; New York is filled with people! Everyone will take pictures of you and wonder why you’re not with the rest of the band,” He said hurriedly and moved his hands for emphasis. He completely ignored the thing 2D said about the hat. 

After closing the door again, 2D responded “Well you’re not goin’ to be with me so it shouldn’t be a big problem, right?”

“Did you not hear what I just bloody said? I said they’ll wonder why you’re not in the UK with the Noodle and Russel,” Murdoc replied with some annoyance in his voice. 

2D crossed his arms over his chest. “I did hear what you said and I’m tellin’ you it isn’t your problem. I can come up with a good excuse.”

“Alright you came up with a good excuse once, that doesn’t mean you’re suddenly a professional liar. Just go for your smoke and come back. We’ll explore when the van comes over,” Murdoc said with a wave of his hand, motioning for 2D to go out the door. 

“No, we probably won’t. I’d prefer to go for a walk now, so I won’t go crazy in this tiny little room. I’ll even go get you some booze, how about that?” The singer smiled as a peace offering.

Murdoc wasn’t backing down though. He stood up and crossed his arms as well. “As tempting as that sounds, I would still rather stay out of prison.”

“I’m not the criminal here, it’s you-“

“Hey now! Keep your voice down, we could have neighbors next door that can hear you,” The bassist quickly said with a ‘shush’. “Just stay here alright?”

2D can’t understand the worry that Murdoc has right now. Does anyone other than those people at the airport even know that Murdoc isn’t in prison? Is it a control thing? “Do you really believe that we’re goin’ to spend ten or eleven straight days in this room?” He asked annoyedly and a little anxiously now as well.

Murdoc scratched his chin and looked over at the window. Then he looked back and said, “Listen, 2D, I get what you’re saying here, I do it’s just like being in jail again for a while, but we honestly need to lay low. Noodle and Russel can’t be trusted right now, and with social media things get shared fast.”

“What do you mean they can’t be trusted? I trust them!” 2D looked Murdoc in the eyes for a moment and then quickly looked to the ground instead. It felt like Murdoc just insulted the other bandmembers. He doesn’t like the emotion Murdoc is giving off right now, it feels too familiar. “I can trust them way more than I trust you and here I am. I’m still here with you.”

Murdoc threw his hands up in frustration. “Well then why are you still here? Go back to England if you just want to sodding ruin everything for me!” He yelled or maybe shouted, 2D wasn’t sure.

2D let out a breath in disbelief, “I want to help you, but I have to help myself too you know. And what do you mean by ‘ruin everythin’’? You’ve ruined my life more than I could possibly ever ruin yours.” He knew that this was not a healthy or productive conversation to have, but Murdoc had struck a nerve. “I’m not even talkin’ about ‘D-Day’ either. I’m talkin’ about Plastic goddamned Beach; that place and you have made me go completely mental. Did… Did you see how I was actin’ on the docks? That was all because of you and Plastic Beach.” His hands were starting to shake, but he really wanted to get this off his chest, “You locked me underwater and forced me to sing for you with Noodle’s robot look-a-like pointin’ a gun at my head the entire time. Do you not see how fucked up that was, Murdoc? Probably not because you were black-out drunk on rum the entire time. All of that stuck with me and I hate it!”

“Shut the fuck up, Stuart! It was hard for me too, you know? I drank constantly for a reason! I was broke I had to make money somehow and I thought Noodle was dead too-“ Murdoc didn’t seem worried about 2D calling the cops on him anymore. 

“Get a job! It’s not that hard! Make your own music by yourself! Work at McDonald’s, I don’t care! You kidnapped me! And it was your fault Noodle almost died too! What kind of excuse is that?” 2D could feel the angry tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He wouldn’t normally start a fight like this or even fight back, but Murdoc being in jail gave him time to think about things. Murdoc was a hurtful person and he deserves to know that.

He could see Murdoc dig his nails into his arm. The bassist is getting overwhelmed and is trying not to show it, 2D knows the signs by now. He should stop this argument now before it gets worse. This isn’t making progress with helping Murdoc or himself. It’s an overall worthless fight. 

Murdoc practically growled and said, “You’re acting so smug because you made a whole album on your own, aren’t you? Think you don’t need me anymore, huh? You want me to go work at bloody McDonald’s? I made you, Stuart. You used to just lay on my couch while I made sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit. I made you who you are today, I made you famous, you owe me your life.”

“Is that what you really think? I could sing before you hit me with your car. I could have found Kong Studios. I could have found Russel. Noodle would have still been shipped to our doorstep, she could probably play bass very well; she plays everything very well. And I would still have my girlfriend in my band playin’ guitar. I could have done it without you. I still could, and I proved that while you were getting’ knocked on your arse in prison.”

The Satanist quickly took three long strides until he was an arm’s reach away from 2D. He was panting like a rabid dog. 2D braced himself but refused to move or cower under Murdoc. The shorter man had his arms at his sides and clenched them into fists. At this distance 2D had to look down slightly to look Murdoc in the eyes. 

“That wasn’t even you, you ignorant piece of…” Murdoc growled again. He’s obviously furious with 2D but he cut himself off. 2D had no idea what Murdoc meant. He wrote The Now Now by himself, does Murdoc not realize that? 2D wouldn’t let that bit of nonsense distract him, he was still upset.

The two glared at each other for what felt like an hour but was probably more like a minute. Then Murdoc said in a faint voice, “Leave, now. I don’t give a shit what you do anymore.”

2D glared at him some more. Then he opened the door behind him and left the room, slamming the door behind him. Before he could see if Murdoc was going to come after him, he sprinted down the hall to where the lifts were.

He jammed his thumb into the ‘down’ button on the elevator and waited impatiently for the lift to get there. When the lift arrived and dinged he stepped inside and rode it to the floor below. The elevator was playing some sort of old pop song he might have recognized if he listened to it a little longer. Once he was on the first floor he speed-walked past everyone in the lobby and out the front door, keeping his head down as he did so. This place had a huge lobby compared to the size of the rooms.

Once outside 2D paused and looked up at the blue sky that was being teased through his window earlier. He sees this sky every day like everyone else, but it never stops being stunningly beautiful. People walked past him as he was admiring the sky. He wonders why no one stops to look up at the sky more often. Everyone must just be too busy to do so. In the corner of his eye 2D saw spots of color poking out from green. 

Without thinking he turned on his heels and walked off of the sidewalk and into the grassy hotel garden where the tall apple tree was. There was a large green lawn outside of the hotel with bushes of different colored flowers and trees he didn’t recognize except for the one that had apples. The interior of the hotel may be ugly, but the garden looked well taken care of and beautiful. 

Once at the base of the apple tree 2D reached out to feel the bark. It was smooth compared to other trees and cool to the touch. The branches provided a semi-circle of shade around the trunk of the tree. Half of the tree was growing against the wall of the hotel right up to where his room is. 

2D looked up and forgot for a moment that he was in the middle of a city. The branches obscured any view of the buildings around the hotel and only showed specks of blue from the sky and ripe-looking apples amongst a sea of branches. He couldn’t even see where his room was. 

The apples were very attractive looking for being in a cheap hotel garden. The singer reached up and grabbed an intact-looking apple from one of the lower branches. After a quick inspection for holes 2D turned around and rested his back against the tree trunk.

Now he could see the city again. He lifted the red fruit to his mouth but just held it against his lips. Birds can be heard chirping around the garden. 2D looked around at the other flowers and trees. Then he looked back up and slid his back down against the tree trunk until he was sitting on the ground with the apple still pressed to his lips. 

The fight he had with Murdoc is ruining his rare time of peace. He looked back towards the city. Why does he still care? He has already concluded that Murdoc only wants to use him. So why does he still want to stay?

The apple was placed next to him on the ground since he doesn’t feel that hungry right now. Instead he pulled out his cigarette pack and lighter from his pocket. He lit the cigarette and took a long drag from it. 

2D wanted to get away from his thoughts about Murdoc, but instead it’s even worse now after what happened up there. He didn’t want to say those horrible things to Murdoc, even if they were true, they were unkind and unnecessary. He does not want to apologize right now either. 

He took the cigarette out of his mouth and wiped a tear that left his eye with his palm. Will they ever be able to become friends again? 2D, despite all of the things Murdoc did to him, would still like for him to go back to how he used to be, when he wasn’t like how he is now. Now Murdoc’s probably only acting like he gives a damn. 2D wants to stop caring about Murdoc but he just can’t. When Murdoc ignored 2D, he still cared. When Murdoc insulted him, 2D still cared. When Murdoc hurt him, 2D still cared. When Plastic Beach happened, 2D hated Murdoc, but he still gave a shit about him.

He doesn’t hate Murdoc right now, but he’s angry with him. Murdoc was getting better during Humanz and that restored some faith in 2D. The singer wasn’t about to forgive him, but it was a nice start to rebuilding their friendship. But then Murdoc went to jail and insulted him again to some reporters and on his Twitter. That made 2D feel like all of that progress Murdoc made last year was fake. 2D has never been more confused with anything his life. He wiped away another tear and put his cigarette back between his lips.

**Day two:**

Yesterday left 2D feeling a lot less than great. He can’t stop thinking about it. Everything about their exchange is eating away at him. It was the worst verbal fight they’ve had in a long time. He thought he would have felt better by standing up for himself, but he doesn’t feel very good at all.

He’s been thinking about what he should have or shouldn’t have said. At times he wonders if he should have just kept his mouth shut. He also thinks being nicer would have helped his conscience now. However, he would also have liked to keep going. Murdoc deserved to know exactly how 2D felt about everything that had happened in their relationship. 2D wanted to tell him about how he ruined their friendship and made 2D hate him for the longest time. Murdoc is a horrible person, so why doesn’t 2D completely believe that?

The Satanist told him to leave and he did, but not really. 2D booked a separate room for himself on the other side of the hotel. He doesn’t have any of his things except for his phone, wallet, cigarettes, and lighter. His clothes are the exact same he left in yesterday morning which is a maroon hooded sweater with big white stars on them and a simple pair of black jeans. They don’t smell too bad so 2D isn’t worried too much about wearing them for another day. He didn’t want to face Murdoc last night despite knowing that he needs to confront this issue sooner or later. The singer didn’t even go explore New York City like he wanted to; just sat around the hotel all day brooding. He didn’t sleep very well that night either. 

The room that he had reserved last night was even uglier than the other one. The green bedsheets had a pattern that looked like it would belong on a 70s carpet. The curtains didn’t have a pattern to them, but they were a clashing bright red color. It looked like it was vaguely Christmas themed though that probably wasn’t the intent of the designer. The window faced the parking lot; oddly enough, the singer preferred the mess of leaves from the apple tree blocking the view in the other room. 2D already checked out of his room from last night hours ago. He’s glad to be out of there.

At this moment 2D is waiting at the end of hotel’s entrance. It’s a little before 2:00 PM. He was actually going to explore today. A cab should be coming around any moment now to pick him up. There was a flyer in the hotel lobby advertising a festival of sorts going on today. 

He forgets exactly what the festival is celebrating but there’s supposed to be little carnival rides and lots of places to shop for food and things. He momentarily forgot about Murdoc when he saw the ad, remembering the time he worked with his father at the fairground. That lovely brief memory helped 2D decide that he wanted to go to this festival and forget about his troubles.

2D watched a yellow cab pull over to the curb he was standing by. He smiled and flicked his cigarette onto the ground. After approaching the car, he opened the back and slid onto the leather seat. The singer started to describe the festival to the driver because he forgot the name of it. The driver already knew what he was talking about and cut 2D off with a ‘yeah okay’.

During the cab ride 2D looked out his window and watched the tall buildings go by. There was no blue in the sky today but instead pillows of clouds covering it up. They didn’t look like angry storm clouds so there shouldn’t be any worry about rain. 

“What happened to your eyes? They’re weird. You got some contacts in or something?” The driver asked while still looking at the road. 

2D looked away from the window to the driver. In the mirror he could see the driver raise his eyebrow while still looking at the road. “Uh… well I was hit by a car,” The singer said after thinking of what to say, he isn’t good at small talk with people he doesn’t know. Honesty should be okay right now; this man doesn’t seem to know who he is.

The man driving met 2D’s ‘weird’ eyes in the mirror and said, “Damn. That’s unfortunate, sorry to hear about that. Never saw a car accident do ‘that’ to someone’s eyes.” 2D looked back outside.

“Well only one of them, uh, looked like this for a while. Then I flew through the windscreen of the same car that hit me the first time and got my other eye like this, forget which one was first though,” 2D replied while picking at his fingernails.

After not hearing a response for a few seconds 2D looked back at the mirror. The driver looked like he was trying pretty hard to not look back at the mirror. The singer shrugged to himself and looked back out the window. This man definitely thinks that the singer is insane.

When the vehicle arrived just outside the festival grounds 2D was able to leave the uncomfortable environment that he unintentionally created. He stepped out of the vehicle and put his sweater’s hood up. Murdoc told him that he doesn’t care what he does anymore, but 2D still would rather not get recognized. His band still thinks that he’s away to be with his family and arranging his mother’s funeral. As soon as the singer’s two feet were planted on the ground the cab pulled away. 

2D ignored his rude driver’s behavior and instead focused on the festival grounds in front of him. He smiled as he noted that the whole street was filled with activities like games, rides, food, and shopping stands. The street was huge compared to the streets he was normally accustomed to. There is enough space to fit everything on it and still have room for people to walk around freely.

The ferris wheel’s flashing lights are the things 2D’s eyes draw towards to after he looked at the rest of the festival. When he worked at his dad’s fair he rode the ferris wheel more than 100 times. It was fun to ride with his friends, but not as fun to ride by himself. He’ll probably ignore the rides today.

The singer put his hands in his hoodie pockets and strode over to where the festival begins at the end of the street. Everyone was bustling around the street going from vendor to vendor or just wandering around aimlessly. There are children all over the place holding onto their presumed parent’s hand, playing little carnival games, eating ice creams, or holding different colored balloons. Middle aged ladies are carrying bags full of what looked like decorations and little antiques. Everyone who doesn’t fall into those categories are doing their own thing. 

Walking forward deeper into the festival, 2D took in the somewhat nostalgic sight. If he wasn’t in Gorillaz he and his father could have taken care of their fair together and made it something huge like this festival. When 2D’s father started getting sick he helped his father take care of the fair. He stayed there until his father couldn’t walk anymore and eventually passed away. He was glad he could be there in the end, but sometimes he gets this nagging feeling like he should have been there longer. Maybe his father wouldn’t have gotten sick if he was always there to help him. It’s another reason why he feels horrible about using his mother’s fake death as an excuse to get away from the band. 

Shaking his head, 2D’s eyes laid on an ATM placed between two stalls. Places like these only take cash, don’t they? He walked over and inserted his bank card. After pressing a few buttons his money came out of the slot. Now he has 300 US dollars total split into 20-dollar bills. Even if he doesn’t spend that much he at least has some cash.

As he continued to walk along the festival grounds he was stopped by a fan. She claimed that she loved him and that she was very sorry about his mother. Looks like Noodle informed social media about his mother’s passing; that might make things complicated. He thanked the fan and signed the carton that she was carrying some sort of fried food in. Even with his hood up he was still being recognized. It was probably because his blue hair is sticking out of his hood and his completely black eyes are visible when he looks up at something. 

He came across something that might help with one of those problems. There is a stand that sells sunglasses, hats, t-shirts, and hoodies. Perfect, he could get a new disguise here and maybe he could get something for Murdoc as well. 

He’s planning on going back to his original room tonight whether Murdoc is still angry with him or not. 2D doesn’t want to just forget about what happened yesterday, he wants to talk about it but when they’re both calm. The singer certainly doesn’t forgive Murdoc for the fight or anything else really, but he wants to work out their issues together. That’s how people grow, right?

Entering the semi-tented area, 2D first stepped in front of the table full of several types of sunglasses. The tent was well shaded compared to the rest of the festival. Some people were under the tent with him looking at various clothing items. The man who he assumes is manning this stand is standing in the corner next to a desk with a metal box on it. 

The sunglasses came in different shapes, colors, and sizes. One of the pairs looks like the heart-shaped pair that Noodle owns. He kind of liked the pair of green aviators, but he knew that would look silly with his red sweatshirt. It would probably look like his previous ugly hotel room. A different pair that he liked was a thick white circular-rimmed pair. White goes with everything and the thick rim would cover his eyes from the side as well. 

He picked them up and tried them all. The tented area was even darker now and had an orange tint to it. It fit well, and the singer decided that this was the pair for him. He kept them on while he moved over to the other side of the tent to look at their t-shirts. 

There was a black one that looked like it would fit Murdoc so 2D picked it up to get a better look at it. The shirt proclaimed in a bold font that, ‘LEGENDS ARE BORN IN MARCH’. 2D tilted his head to the side and read it again. Well he doesn’t agree with that at all. People who were born in the winter were probably the most likely to be legends, they had to live through the cold as a baby and all that. Maybe whoever made this shirt comes from a place where March is a really cold month. 

He put the shirt down and picked up another one. This one was even more bizarre saying, ‘REAL WOMEN ARE BORN IN OCTOBER WITH PUERTO RICAN BLOOD’. 2D looked at this one even longer. Oh, he gets it now, these are supposed to be funny t-shirts. Russel and 2D love these kinds of shirts. The kinds of shirts he really likes don’t have much of a meaning at all. These shirts have some sort of meaning to them, but 2D kind of likes how odd they are.

He held the shirt in his hand to his chest and sees that it wouldn’t fit him, but it might fit Murdoc. Putting the shirt to the side, he grabs another one and inspects it, now excited to see what it might say. 

This was an orange sweatshirt that said, ‘WALK AWAY, THIS FORKLIFT OPERATOR HAS ANGER ISSUES AND A SERIOUS DISLIKE FOR STUPID PEOPLE’. Murdoc isn’t a forklift driver, but he does have anger issues. 2D added the sweatshirt to the start of a pile of clothing he’s going to buy. Maybe if people read the sweatshirt they won’t know it’s Murdoc because he isn’t a forklift operator.

Once he had a rather substantial number of t-shirts that he deemed acceptable he moved onto the hats. He needs a new hat after he lost his in the ocean. The man in the corner of the tent has been watching him with interest. He seems very happy that 2D likes his merchandise. The hats weren’t as exciting as the shirts, but 2D was determined to find one he liked anyway.

He did find one that he liked, it was a white billed hat just like his old hat, but this one had orange text on the front that said, ‘B is for BALLIN’. 2D has never played basketball but he still likes this hat. Putting down his hood he put on the hat on his head deciding that he didn’t care about if he matched anymore. He misses his old ‘shit happens’ hat, but this one fills the void that the other hat left behind. 

Picking up his pile of new clothes, 2D made his way over to the desk where the man in the corner is. He picked out some stuff for both him and Murdoc. The Satanist probably won’t have an appreciation for these kinds of shirts like he does, but Murdoc only has clothes that looks like something Murdoc would wear. 2D knows that Murdoc doesn’t want to be recognized.

2D put his numerous items down and took out his wallet to pay for them. “Hello sir,” 2D said politely to the man. 

“Hello. I take it that you really like these kinds of things?” The man was happy as he spoke and began inspecting each article of clothing for a price. 

The singer nodded and put the sunglasses and hat back on again once the man was done looking at them. “They’re quite funny; at least I think they are.” The man told him the total cost and 2D was surprised at such a low price for the amount of stuff that he’s buying. He paid for his items with four 20-dollar bills and he received about five dollars in change back. 

His massive quantities of shirts fit into about four large bags. At this point 2D realized that maybe he shouldn’t have bought as many shirts. He needs to use both hands to carry his bags. Also, he spent quite a bit of time just looking and rating each shirt out of ten in his head. 

Before calling a cab for himself, the singer spent a few hours wondering around the festival people watching and browsing more stands, he even bought a few fun things he thought was neat. 2D bought some greasy chips from one of the stands and a cup of lemonade. He had to sit down with his bags beside him to eat because he ran out of room to carry anything. On his way to meet his cab he had four bags of different items dangling off of his arms and a cup of lemonade in his hand. He didn’t get anything to eat for Murdoc and he feels kind of bad about it, but Murdoc can take care of himself. He can order something from the hotel and put it on 2D’s tab if he’s hungry. 

This cab driver was much nicer compared to the other one. She held the door open for him so he could get in and out of the vehicle. He managed to get into the hotel as someone was passing through, so the door was already open. Then he had to hit the elevator button while trying to balance his piles of belongings without toppling over. Everything was good so far, he made it without falling.

When the elevator reached his floor, 2D shuffled out and made his way to where his room was. He bit his lip nervously. Yesterday he forgot his keycard, so he’ll need to rely on Murdoc to open the door to let him in. 2D was very unsure about coming back here all of a sudden. 

Carefully 2D kicked the door three times as a way of knocking rather than risking falling over if he used his hands. He waited with his leg dangling awkwardly in the air. When he didn’t get a response, he kicked the door again, this time a little more forcefully. Then he heard shuffling on the other side of the door.

He jumped back and was miraculously still holding his things when the door slammed open. Murdoc gripped the door frame and squinted at him. “I thought I told you to leave me alone,” The bassist slurred. His hair was greasy and stuck up in odd directions. Surprisingly he was still wearing a shirt. It looked like he’s been intoxicated for a little while now. “Oh, wait it’s just my singer. Welcome back, 2D. Thought you might have gone back to… back to England.” 

2D had just now decided that he didn’t want to talk to Murdoc anymore. Especially not while he’s hammered like this. The bassist might not even remember anything 2D says in the morning. The singer ignored what Murdoc has just said and squeezed past him into the room. Once inside 2D set his things down next to the dressed after putting his cup of lemonade on top of the dresser. 

After hearing some shuffling behind him, 2D turned back around to see Murdoc bent over forwards clutching the edge of the bed. He probably tripped.

Murdoc looked up at 2D and asked, “What the bloody hell are you wearing?”

Oh yeah, 2D still had his sunglasses and his cool new hat on. He took off both of those things and set those on the dresser as well. Just then was when he noticed all of the broken ceramic on the floor. A quick glance at the table told him that Murdoc must have broken the vase that held all of the flowers. Where did the flowers go? There’s only pieces of the vase on the floor. 

“Oh yeah, sorry about the mess. I had a bit of an accident… and by accident, I mean I threw it against the wall.” Murdoc said shuffling forward until he was sitting on his bed next to where 2D was standing. “Also got rid of those repulsive curtains. Would have gotten rid of the sheets too, but we need those. You’re welcome by the way.”

2D doesn’t immediately see the curtains anywhere and that worries him a bit. Was Murdoc drunk like this when he got rid of them? If so, then that could be a problem that he’s going to need to deal with later. The singer’s eyes settled on his bed where one of his previous questions was answered. On his bed was the orange roses from the vase placed onto his bed in the shape of a heart. He wanted to ask Murdoc why they were there, but he also doesn’t want to have a conversation with him right now.

“Hey dullard” Murdoc nudged 2D’s show with his foot, “No wait… hey you, what crawled up your arse?” The bassist slowly leaned forward without knowing it until his face fell against 2D’s waist. Immediately he pushed himself back quickly but nonchalantly and pretended like it didn’t happen. 

Shaking his head in annoyance, 2D walked a step away from Murdoc to his own bed where he sat down and proceeded to remove his shoes. Hopefully Murdoc gets the hint and leaves him alone until the morning. 

Murdoc looks at him blankly for a moment. “Are you ignoring me?” He asked.

After receiving no answer, he continued with, “You’re seriously ignoring me? That’s real sodding childish, you’re 40 years old.”

2D knows what Murdoc is trying to do, but he isn’t going to fight back. Instead he turns around and begins removing the flowers that are on his bed. He’s just going to toss them onto the floor for now and pick them up in the morning. 

“Hey now what are you doing? I made your bed all pretty for you… and you’re just ruining it,” Murdoc said with some disbelief evident in his voice. 

He looked up at Murdoc after that with confusion shown clearly on his face. This kind of reminds him of the times Murdoc used to mistake him for someone else while he was drunk. He was always real nice to him when that happened, but now there was no one else to mistake him with. 2D is the only person on this journey with Murdoc and he has a feeling Murdoc didn’t invite a girl over to shag.

Murdoc looked the taller man in the eyes and softened his expression. He opened his mouth but for a moment only a squeaking sound came from his throat. 2D was getting concerned. Then Murdoc found the words he must have been looking for and said, “I’m sorry I never say sorry.”

The singer would have been touched if Murdoc weren’t as drunk as he was. He still feels something despite trying to stay mad at the bassist. Before he could make a mistake and say something back to Murdoc he reached over and turned their lamp off. He’s hoping that Murdoc just goes to sleep.

**Day three:**

Murdoc did not sleep well last night. He usually sleeps fantastically when he’s as drunk as he was last night, but his singer and the trouble between them kept popping into his mind. It was worse than the night before when 2D wasn’t here. Having the singer here just made him even more off. Murdoc had just woken up and was still lying on his bed unsure of what to do now. There’s hardly any light shining through the leaves against their window despite it being close to 10:00 AM.

After 2D stormed out yesterday Murdoc went into a rage of sorts. He threw the vase full of flowers against the wall first. Pacing around the room and almost ripping his hair out, Murdoc then decided he absolutely needed to be rid of those horrid red and orange striped curtains. He yanked them off of the bar and shoved them under his bed. 

Nothing he did would stop the overwhelming mixture of anger and guilt that plagued his mind. He was furious at both 2D and himself. The singer said some horrible things that Murdoc didn’t know he was capable of saying. Murdoc’s insecurity about being unneeded was confirmed by 2D himself. Normally Murdoc would feel incredibly guilty about something like this, and he does, but he has this aching feeling that it wasn’t his fault this time. 

He refrained from both relying on insults and violence to try to solve their argument. He could have hit 2D, but he didn’t and in a way he’s proud of himself for staying somewhat calm. The only thing he asked was for the taller man to stay hidden. Murdoc didn’t force 2D to stay with him; he let him go. The only mistake Murdoc really made was telling 2D that he made him, but he has said that before without many issues from 2D. If Murdoc didn’t make any huge mistakes, then why is 2D this upset?

He took a break from his destruction of property to walk to a local grocery shop to pick up some beer. He had no money, so he just picked up three cases of beer and a pack of cigarettes and just walked out. Murdoc was too angry about what happened with 2D to come up with a better plan, but it surprisingly worked out okay. Whoever saw him probably just assumed that he already paid for his things and just let him go. The absurdity of being able to successfully steal three cases of beer and a pack of cigarettes made Murdoc halt his rampage.

When he got back to the hotel room with his acquired items he immediately had a few beers and a smoke. He ordered some room service and it tasted semi-decent in his drunken state. The bassist was forgetting about everything that had happened in the only way he knows how.

At some point into the late afternoon when the pink sky shined through the leaves pressed against his window he decided to gather up all of the orange roses on the floor. The possibility of 2D leaving him here alone in the United States was the only thing he could think about. Even with the alcohol the thoughts nagged at him.

_I think I messed up again._

_Nobody will ever love me._

_Stuart deserves better than what I can ever give him._

What happened to him? What happened to the Murdoc Niccals who cared about no one but himself? He doesn’t want to need 2D with him. Murdoc does need 2D, but not for his money. He needs 2D because he has never done well without 2D. The only stability that he’s experienced comes from 2D. His singer is the reason he’s still alive right now. If 2D had never stood in that shop on that day Murdoc probably wouldn’t have made it this far in life.

Murdoc considered that 2D could eventually come back to him. The singer’s clothes were still here after all. When 2D comes back he might still be upset. Murdoc’s fuzzy mindset decided to arrange the flowers on the taller man’s bed. He assumed that 2D would find it pretty and would appreciate the Satanist’s efforts. It would be his own way of apologizing since he can’t seem to say the words ‘I’m sorry’ for anything more than a slip of the tongue. 

It turns out, as seen last night, that 2D didn’t recognize what Murdoc was trying to do. In fact, the singer didn’t say anything to Murdoc. For a little while as Murdoc was trying to fall asleep he wondered if the man in the other bed was real. Maybe the fog from Point Nemo had caught up to him and was making him hallucinate again.

That wasn’t what was happening since 2D was still lying in his own bed. Murdoc is much soberer than he wants to be right now. 2D will be waking up soon and the bassist isn’t sure how to talk to him. Should he try to talk to him? He would most likely say something wrong and make everything worse as usual.

Murdoc swung his legs over his bed and stood up. Seeing that the noise he made didn’t wake 2D Murdoc continued to go over to the mini-fridge and get himself a beer. If he’s going to need to deal with what’s going on between him and 2D he’ll need some liquid courage. The bassist is going to try very hard today to get 2D back on his good side even if the argument might not entirely be his fault.

Before the Satanist could open his beer, there was a loud crashing sound from outside. The sound made him jerk his head towards the window to look for the sound as if he might be able to see it through the leaves. 

2D sat up and shot a worried look at Murdoc. “What was that?” He asked sounding out of breath. Murdoc can imagine that his heart was pounding. 

Murdoc opened his mouth to answer but was interrupted by the new sound of rain pounding against the side of the building. Murdoc closed his mouth and then opened it again and said, “Well I think it was a bit of thunder.” Then he smirked in 2D’s direction.

Well 2D wasn’t very amused at Murdoc’s sass-filled answer. The singer frowned before looking past the bassist to the window. Murdoc’s smile drooped as well, and he followed the other’s gaze to the window. 

The fierce rain that the two were hearing was not visible from their window due to the leaves from the apple tree shielding their room. The room lit up briefly during a quick strike of lighting that shined through the leaves.

Hearing 2D sigh, Murdoc turned his attention back to the other man. The singer wasn’t looking at Murdoc and instead was eyeing the door. Does 2D want to leave again? Has Murdoc already messed up this morning? Why is it that when he’s actually trying to ‘get better’ he ends up making it worse than if he weren’t trying at all?

Not being able to handle this awkward heavy feeling in the room anymore Murdoc asked, “Are you going to leave again, Dents?” He spoke much calmer than the way he spoke when 2D announced that he was leaving the first time. Murdoc doesn’t want 2D to leave again, but if 2D wants to leave then he won’t force him to stay.

The taller man bit his lip before tearing his eyes away to meet Murdoc’s eyes. Looking 2D in the eyes still makes Murdoc uncomfortable, but he can tolerate it. He can tell that 2D himself is uncomfortable at this very moment; he’s biting his lips and picking at his fingernails. 

“I mean um… I would like that. It’s a little stuffy in here right now. That might be because of the storm and the humidity and that other weather stuff. It is stormin’ outside though so it doesn’t make much sense to go outside right now,” 2D said in a rambling sort of way. The lights flickered briefly in the room. The power might go out soon.

He wants to leave again after all. Murdoc wants to say something like bring up the fact that 2D is causing him to doubt himself or that he doesn’t want to be alone again, but instead he says, “You can go if you want. I won’t yell at you. Just please don’t tell people I’m here or that you’re 2D, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff.”

Murdoc sat down on the bed and braced himself for 2D to leave again. Looking at his fingernails, Murdoc pretended to not care.

2D looked between the man on the bed and the door. Despite the storm raging on outside like the man mentioned before, 2D looked like he really did want to leave. “Okay… I’m goin’ to go out for a smoke then. If you need me I’ll be outside. I won’t go far, promise.” Even though the mood in the room was awkward 2D managed to smile at Murdoc and held up his pinkie finger.

Murdoc rolled his eyes.

“Come on now, Muds. Pinkie swear, you have to.” 2D said teasingly and held his pinkie farther towards Murdoc.

After a heavy annoyed sigh Murdoc raised his pinkie finger as well. 2D knocked their digits together and made a fake explosion sound from his mouth.

Satisfied with himself 2D nodded at Murdoc. Then he turned around and walked out the door. 

For a few minutes the Satanist could only stare at the space 2D’s lanky frame used to occupy. He was coming back. Murdoc had nothing to worry about. His singer took childish things like ‘pinkie swears’ seriously. He would definitely come back. So why does he have this nagging voice in the back of his head telling him that he should be worried?

He sat up and ran a hand through his bangs. He was probably being paranoid again. Or so he thought until he saw that 2D left his lighter on the dresser next to his new shitty hat. Either 2D is dumber than Murdoc thought he was since 2D hasn’t come back up for his lighter yet, he borrowed a lighter from someone else, or he isn’t going out to smoke like he said he was. 

Murdoc was going through a mixture of emotions at that moment, none of them are very good. Where is 2D? Murdoc feels like he needs to find out right now. He doesn’t have a new phone yet, so he can’t just call him or text him. 

Standing up again, Murdoc grabbed the lighter from on top of the dresser and slammed the door open. After immediately slamming the door closed again he took the nearest set of stairs down to the first floor of the hotel. Normally he would take the elevator and avoid the stairs at all costs, but he was in a hurry at the moment and the stairs are the quickest way to go. 

Murdoc pushed passed the bellboys and random guests checking in while he was in the lobby. He received some scowls from people he had shoved on his way, but he could care less. He stomped quickly to the way outside and threw open the double-doors without thinking. A wave of rain pelted the front of him. “Aw shit!” He exclaimed angrily at mother nature. 

Now that he was already uncomfortably drenched in rainwater Murdoc had no issues going fully outside and looking around for his singer. He did just that and held a hand over the top his eyes as if that would help him see better. The only people he can see are normal looking blokes that have natural hair colors.

After looking around so fast that he could have gotten whiplash a few times, Murdoc gradually slowed down until he was just standing in the rain. This is ridiculous. He shouldn’t be as worried as he is. 2D will come back like he always does. His hand hardened its grip around 2D’s lighter without him thinking. How did 2D even expect to be able to smoke in this torrential downpour? Murdoc’s body was drenched the moment he shoved his way out the door; it would be impossible to get a proper smoke out here.

2D is his own person and if he wants to run off without telling Murdoc then he can do that. Murdoc knows that he needs to get used to 2D doing whatever he wants without the Satanist getting in the way. He turned around to go back inside but stopped when he saw the vivid colors within the gray filter that was the rain; It was the hotel’s garden. Instantly he recognized the annoying fruit tree pressed against what was probably their room window. 

The magnificent arrangements of plants called out to Murdoc in a way. He feels the urge to go over to the apple tree and he isn’t sure why. He didn’t like the tree very much because its leaves were blocking any view of the city that him and 2D might have. Perhaps that was a good thing due to no one being able to look into their room, but it was still bothersome to look at.

It would benefit Murdoc more to go back inside and change his wet clothes into some dry ones. Instead however, he stepped onto the stone path that lead to the garden area. As he walked along the path more flowers, trees, and other plants came into view. There was a fountain in the center of the garden area surrounded by wooden benches. Everything in the area has rain dripping off of it. 

He stopped in his tracks when he saw a streak of dark blue in his vision. He turned his whole body towards the color’s origins. It was under that damned apple tree. 2D was sitting with his back against the trunk of the tree. His head was down and resting on his knees while he sat in the fetal position. 

Murdoc propelled himself towards the tree by pushing off of the nearest bench. He scrambled his way under the leaves of the fruit tree. The rain was no longer pelting his body. He isn’t sure what to say to the man below him, so he just looked at him questioningly while breathing heavily due to the sudden burst of energy he just experienced.

2D heard his footsteps and looked up with wide eyes at the bassist. Murdoc can tell immediately from the singer’s red face that he had been crying. The black-eyed man tried to pretend he wasn’t crying by straightening his facial features so he looked neutral. Murdoc has seen 2D cry many times over the past 20 years, so he wasn’t fooled at all. 

“What…” 2D cleared his throat, “What are you doin’ out here in the rain, Murdoc?” He asked trying to sound casual.

The bassist reached into his pocket and then tossed the lighter at its owner. “You forgot your lighter.”

2D fumbled with it but ultimately dropped it. After the singer picked it up off of the ground he put it in his own pocket. “Thanks,” He said guiltily.

“Did you really come out here to have a smoke? Be honest, Dents.” Murdoc asked and crossed his arms over his chest. He was cold after being coated in rain water. 

“No, I suppose I didn’t. I just wanted to come outside I guess,” 2D answered while looking at Murdoc’s boots.

Murdoc sighed and crouched down to sit across from the other man. He groaned on the way down until his ass was planted against the ground. 

The taller man didn’t move his head to look up, but Murdoc can tell that he moved his pupils with how close he is to the other man. 2D is looking directly at Murdoc but he’s trying to be sneaky about it. It’s a mystery how 2D still doesn’t know that Murdoc can tell where he’s looking most of the time. They’ve been together for a long time; Murdoc might know more about 2D than what 2D knows about 2D.

The Satanist relaxed his face and questioned, “Did you want to get away from me?” The question was asked softly as if Murdoc didn’t want 2D to hear and answer.

2D stayed quiet for a moment before saying, “No.”

“You’re lying,” Murdoc said in a non-accusatory way. 

“I’m sorry, Murdoc. I don’t know why I don’t want to be around you right now. Probably just my idiotic messed-up brain again. I’m actin’ like a bloody child.” The singer said and leaned back up so the back of his head was against the tree. 

Murdoc felt incredibly uncomfortable now. The words 2D said were familiar and probably came out of Murdoc’s own mouth a few times. It’s making him feel utterly horrible.

_I’ve hurt him too many times._

_Does he believe all of the things I’ve said to him?_

_Why did I do this?_

_I know exactly why and I’m pathetic for doing this to him._

_I’m afraid._

_I don’t want him to leave me._

“Shut up 2D…” He started but then he grunted and tried again, “What I mean by that is don’t say things like that about yourself. Just… you’re not acting like a child and you’re not an idiot.” Murdoc put his hands in his pockets because they were starting to shake. He doesn’t want 2D to see how his own words were affecting him. 

2D lifted his head up after hearing this. His now pinkish face showed confusion. “Why are you sayin’ that?”

The bassist shrugged while trying to be nonchalant, “It’s true.” It is true, but he’s never said it before. 2D isn’t stupid. Sometimes he can be dense, but he can’t help it. His singer has written genius songs before that Murdoc would have never thought of. 

“If it’s true than why have you never said it before?” 2D looked almost angry now. He put his hands on the ground to stabilize himself while he glared at the bassist.

_I know why._

“I don’t know.”

“Well I know why. You just want me to help you,” 2D accused harshly, “Then you’re goin’ to go back to insultin’ and hittin’ me.”

Murdoc took offense to this and straightened himself up. “This again? How many times do I have to tell you that you’re actually important to me?” Murdoc noticed how aggressive his response was and leaned back again.

“Until I believe it. Why can’t you admit that I’m only important to you so that I can make you money?” 2D put his hands in his lap and looked at them. Now he really doesn’t want to look at Murdoc. 

That’s what he really thinks? The Satanist stared in disbelief at the singer. “You want to know why I can’t admit that? Probably because it isn’t true.” He frowned, lifted his hand, and snapped in front of 2D’s face. When the other man looked at him, Murdoc continued. “I care about you. I came out here to look for you because I was sodding worried about you.”

2D looked like he was about to cry again. “If you actually and honestly gave a shit about me then why did you do all those things to me? Why did you ruin my life with everythin’ you did, Murdoc?” His voice cracked during the last sentence. 

_I can’t stand seeing him like this._

_Why can’t I fix this?_

Murdoc bit the inside of his lip so hard that he was sure that it started bleeding. He can taste it. “I uh…” He knows what he wants to say, but it won’t come out.

“Everythin’ would have been perfect if you were just nice to me.” The tears started falling from 2D’s eyes.

_I know._

“I looked up to you. I cared about you. I still care about you.”

_You shouldn’t._

“You were my best friend.”

_You were mine too._

“I… I loved you… in a way.”

Murdoc couldn’t handle it anymore. He looked up and shouted at the top of his lungs. 2D flinched at the sudden loud noise. 

The Satanist snapped his head back down and crawled until his legs were touching 2D’s. The singer looked petrified and his eyes were wide like an alert doe. “Listen to me 2D. I’m going to try my absolute hardest here and you need to just sit there and not interrupt me or else I might stop.” Murdoc was close enough to feel the shaky breaths leave 2D’s nose. 

Murdoc himself took a shaky breath and began speaking before he regrets it or gets nervous and stops. “2D, everything horrible in your life is my fault. You deserve to be angry, hate me, and wish I was dead. But… I’m so… I’m so sorry, Stuart.” As soon as the word ‘sorry’ left his mouth he was crying too. He wants to keep going.

“I’m sorry for hitting you with my car. I’m sorry for flinging you through the windscreen. I’m sorry for hurting you for 20 straight years. I’m sorry for every single fucked up thing that happened during our third album. I’m sorry for embarrassing you in front of our fans. I’m sorry for how I made you feel every time I talk to you. I’m sorry for stealing your girlfriends. I’m sorry for almost killing Noodle. I’m sorry that we aren’t friends anymore. I’m sorry that before now I couldn’t tell you how sorry I am. I’m sorry for-“ Murdoc’s rapid-fire apologies were cut off when 2D threw his arms around Murdoc’s shoulders and buried his head in Murdoc’s neck.

He doesn’t want to stop. Murdoc let out a sob and held his hands awkwardly around 2D but not actually touching him. He knows 2D doesn’t want to be touched unannounced. “I’m sorry for… I’m sorry for…” He let out another gross sob.

2D shook his head against Murdoc’s neck. “It’s okay, Murdoc.”

Murdoc shook his head ‘no’ and tried to keep going. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Stuart. I’m sorry.”

The other man rubbed his back soothingly. “I know. It’s okay. I’m sorry too.” He said gently.

“It’s not okay,” Murdoc shouted. “I hurt you. I’m sorry. I was scared.”

2D held the shorter man tighter. They stayed like this for a while where the apple tree was shielding the two from the storm outside of the tree’s shade. 2D embraced Murdoc while he tried to comfort him. Murdoc kept repeating ‘I’m sorry’ between his sobs.

Eventually Murdoc calmed down until he wasn’t shaking and overwhelmed with emotion. Then he let out a long deep breath and rested his head on 2D’s shoulder. The man’s blue hair was in his face, but Murdoc couldn’t care less right now. 

“Murdoc?” 2D asked softly.

Murdoc hummed in response.

“Thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey thanks for reading until the end! I hope you all enjoyed. Remember to leave a comment if you have something nice to say!
> 
> There was a lot here and I intend to keep future chapter longer (between 7,000-10,000). 
> 
> You may have noticed I did things a little differently in this chapter. I'm currently experimenting a bit with my writing style, but if I did something that you really don't like then don't be afraid to let me know.
> 
> BTW THE DAY AFTER I WROTE ABOUT 2D’S CLOUT GLASSES THE WATCH ADVERTISEMENTS CAME OUT. BITCHES I WAS THE FIRST TO PICTURE 2D IN THOSE. 
> 
> Also in case you all were wondering I really like those stupid oddly specific t-shirts you see advertised on facebook and I thought 2D would love them. Be ready for the both of them to wear some of these lovely yet stupid shirts. Here's the links to these very real pieces of clothing that 2D and Murdoc will wear:  
> March - https://www.redbubble.com/shop/born+in+november+t-shirts  
> Puerto Rico - https://www.reddit.com/r/gatekeeping/comments/74h9bv/dont_even_talk_to_me_if_you_were_born_any_other/  
> Forklift - https://i.imgur.com/ttPs83X.jpg  
> BALLIN - https://truckerhatusa.com/b-is-for-ballin-trucker-hat-mesh-hat-snapback-hat-by-hey-hats/


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